


Fire

by ChartreuseMint



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst and Feels, Costume Parties & Masquerades, Cultural Differences, Elevators, Established Park Jinyoung | Jr./Mark Tuan, First Time, Jealousy, M/M, Minor Im Jaebum | JB/Jackson Wang, Minor Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung | Jr., Minor Kunpimook Bhuwakul | BamBam/Kim Yugyeom, Past Relationship(s), Self-Discovery, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Sweet, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-10-23 20:43:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 43,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10726866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChartreuseMint/pseuds/ChartreuseMint
Summary: Living the last eight years of his live to be able to fit in his surrounding, for the first time Mark does not feel out of place. The comfort comes in form of a certain seasonal bad boy that he meets every Sunday morning in the elevator. Sporting a multiple piercing, leather jacket, ripped jeans, and sometimes a scratch on his skin, the man clearly out of place in this apartment complex that housing a goodie-two-shoes wife, a pressed-slack husband, and their equally angelic children. But the man with a beautiful twin moles above his left eyes, even feels more like at home, than Mark himself. The actual tenant in this complex. Or so he thinks.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [habitualwords](https://archiveofourown.org/users/habitualwords/gifts).



**_Holy shit! It’s already 8AM!_ **

Just great, now he has to go to his apartment complex in a complete broad daylight, with a crumpled work shirt and a several missing buttons near the collar of said shirt. _Damn Jinyoung_ , for always be such impatient brats.

Mark massages the bridge of his crooked nose, hoping it will accelerate the process of his eyes adjusting to the ray of sunshine pushing through the blind in Jinyoung’s small villa. It is just very Jinyoung-like to be already up and ready such early on a Sunday morning.

He is not really surprise with the fact that he is laying around in this white four poster bed alone. His body only covered with a blanket, while the other side of the bed already made up neatly. Like it was never slept on last night. Jinyoung has a habit. He would wait for Mark to fell a sleep before he is hurrying to his home office, to write down whatever inspiration he got from Mark last night, while he rode Mark like there is no tomorrow. Or when he insists that Mark should do him nice and slow because he feels more inspiration would come by the somewhat heartfelt act.

Jinyoung is a best-selling writer. He writes a mystery fiction, sometimes a psycho story. Oddly, all the inspiration always come as a fruit of good sex. Mark couldn’t relate, and sometimes he wonders. _Does Jinyoung ever thinking of choking me to death whenever he held Mark head down while Mark blowing him?_ The charm of having a writer as your fuck buddy, you’ll never know if he is living in his head or on his story.

Besides locking himself inside his home office, Jinyoung also has a habit. And this one is benefiting Mark, at least. He would make a totally _to-die-for_ coffee in his coffee machine, knowing that Mark would absolutely need it after spending the night. _Don’t get him wrong._ Jinyoung is a great lay, but most of the time he is too demanding. A total power bottom. The coffee is his way to thank Mark for succumbing to his high-maintenance request. And last night really pushing Mark’s boundary, which is why he needs that coffee really bad.

Mark awakes from the bed, trying to sit and recollecting any possible battle war he is having right now that comes from last night. There are several bites mark on his shoulder but aside from that he is in all clear. Jinyoung is not one that overly passionate during fucking and certainly, Mark is more like the quiet type, just like his personality.

Mark also tries to remember _where the hell_ his phone is. Nowhere near him. That’s what causing him to wake late after all. He always sets his alarm to ring at 5.30AM on Sunday morning. To make sure he could sneak into his apartment complex that full of uptight people which for sure will looking him at him with disgust if they see him parading around in his walk of shame. Mark couldn’t care less about what people think of him, but seeing that on weekly basis could do a damage to your self-worth. So, he adjust. That’s exactly what he has been doing all his life after all. **_Adjusting_**.

Locating where his phone is proven to be a hard task. After searching through all side of Jinyoung’s humongous room, Mark manages to find his pants, boxer brief, and tie which he then puts on while keep searching for his phone. _No, he does not wearing his tie without a shirt on, **mind you**._ He is hung over but not crazy.

Sighing for hundreds time, Mark heads to the kitchen. He need his caffeine fix before going treasure hunting again. He opens the door to the common room where Jinyoung has a grand classical piano which he never play. Stepping out, he keeps walking with a purpose. Going straight to the other side of the room, where the kitchen is. His plan is a good one in the end, because not only finds the coffee he desperately needed, he also finds his phone on the foyer next to where the coffee machine is.

While he sips his first cup of coffee, his phone lighting up with new notification. Must be Jackson. Because no one care enough to text me this early on a Sunday morning.

 

 

 

> **Jackson Wang**
> 
> _HOLY SHIT MARK! I MET GOD LAST NIGHT._
> 
>  

Mark ignores it because typically for Jackson, his message will not be only just that. He would continue to bomb Mark’s phone with notification from his chat until the story ends. Mark lazily puffs his own hair to check whether it is greasy enough for him to need a shower here before he left, or it is passable and he could take a shower at home. His semi burgundy slash brunette hair as usual, laying thick on top of his head. One of his best feature, as per Jinyoung opinion.

True enough, not a minute after, his phone is chiming continuously with a chat notification from Jackson. He reads it from the pop-up screen, on purpose. Knowing that if he opens the application, Jackson will call him and recite all his story with an enthusiasm that really doesn’t suite a Sunday morning which supposed to be a lazy day. _Excitement is over rated._

 

 

 

> **Jackson Wang**
> 
> _I NEVER ORGASM SO MUCH IN MY LIFE._
> 
> **Jackson Wang**
> 
> _I’M SURE I WENT TO HEAVEN AND MET THE GOD HIMSELF!_
> 
> **Jackson Wang**
> 
> _I DON’T EVEN CARE THAT I WAS BOTTOMING FOR HIM, SUCH A BEAUTIFUL YET DANGEROUS CREATURE._
> 
> **Jackson Wang**
> 
> _AND YOU KNOW, I DON’T BOTTOM FOR JUST ANYONE._
> 
> **Jackson Wang**
> 
> _THE LEATHER JACKET, THE PIERCINGS,_
> 
> **Jackson Wang**
> 
> _HE EVEN GOT A CURSIVE TATTOO OF “DEF.” INSIDE HIS MOUTH,_
> 
> **Jackson Wang**
> 
> _CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW SEXY IT IS?_
> 
> _ALSO DON’T GET ME STARTED WITH HIS SMOOTH VOICE._
> 
> **Jackson Wang**
> 
> _AND OH! THE THING HE DID WITH HIS HIPS SHOULD BE ILEGAL._
> 
> **Jackson Wang**
> 
> _I BARELY CAN MOVE MY ASS AFTER LAST NIGHT._
> 
> **Jackson Wang**
> 
> _MARK? ARE YOU THERE? MARK!_
> 
> **Jackson Wang**
> 
> _How could you ignore me like this MARK TUAN?! Let see if I let you left Coco at my house again next week._
> 
> **Jackson Wang**
> 
> _I HATE YOU, TUAN!_
> 
>  

A sound of door closing is startling him from reading Jackson’s rant. Soon enough, there is a footstep approaching and a pair of cold hand hugging his hunching posture from behind. Smooth fingertips rest on his collarbone, and warm breath ticking his right ear.

“How come you are still here, Mark-hyung?”, Jinyoung whispers into his ear softly. The thing that only Park Jinyoung could do without being called greasy. Jinyoung carries an aura of sensuality in his every little act, something that trapped Mark to his web from the very first time they met on some wine cellar they frequent to.

The cold fingers caress his skin softly. Mark shivers, but stop the want that starting to shimmer beneath his skin. By now, Mark knows that Jinyoung only teasing him. Because adding to enigma named Park Jinyoung, Jinyoung never put out more than a round of sweaty sex for as long as Mark fooling around with him. At morning after like this, once in a while, Jinyoung like to tease Mark to the point of Mark almost going crazy because of his heightened arousal, with no further follow up by the teaser himself.

 _Today too_ , he needs to get a grip because that version of Jinyoung seems ready to come and play. When the caress lowering and lowering, he grabs the slender finger, _longer than his own finger_. Mark interlaces their finger, grips Jinyoung's hand tighter and brings their joined hand closer to his cheek. When Jinyoung's hand touching his skin, Mark nuzzles a bit. _A sign of gratitude._ Not a form of intimacy, because it is not his character to do so. He is as straight forward as anyone could imagine. Many of his pals considers his testosterone occupied most part of his brain, seeing how very man-like his mind is. _Left or right, black or white, pure logic and no hidden agenda._ That's Mark, that's him as he knows himself.

"Thanks to my missing phone here, I couldn't hear my usual alarm going off. And thanks to you for not waking me, now I would have to do this walk of shame in front of all my pretentious neighbor."

Rumble of a beginning of some laughter vibrates again his back. Jinyoung's hand twitch on his grip. Desperate to set it free, so he could cover his laughter with the back of his hand. Leaving people to only witness, his eyes' crinkle. Another Jinyoung’s behavior that Mark also noticed since the first night they met. Mark does loosen his grip, and before Jinyoung could do anything, he pushes the laughing boy backward. He spins himself in time with a _thud_ sound indicating Jinyoung’s back hitting the countertop opposite the one Mark occupied just before.

Still covering his mouth with that finger, a crisp sound of Jinyoung laughter only making him more irritated than before. The eye crinkling seems mocking him, but the playful stare is making him realize how silly this situation is. Mark can't help but chuckling slightly, looking at Jinyoung while crossing his arm in front of his chest.

"What are you even laughing about, Jinyoung? All of this amusing to you?"

"If you hate your apartment complex that much, why don't you move out of it? You are more than capable to afford a small villa like this, I know it for the fact."

"And this is a funny thing for you?", Mark raises his eyebrow a bit, shrugging a little. Well, this is the first time he told Jinyoung about it. And a laughter is certainly not a reaction he expected at all. _He still couldn't figure out Park Jinyoung train of thought._ Also probably not helping, since they spent their time together mostly doing an activity that requires more moaning than talking.

"That's not what making me laugh though. I'm laughing because literally you just said the exact same thing that my friend complained to me on the phone this morning. I wonder just how many apartment complex is there in Seoul that homed a bunch of uptight people like both of you said. Isn’t this a weird coincidence that I somehow related to people with this kind of problem?"

"I don't know about your friend, but my apart...". He is about to indulge Jinyoung more about his apartment complex, since Jinyoung never visiting there. Whatever he was about to say is washed away, when Jinyoung closes their two-steps gap and kisses him. Pressing Mark even further to the countertop behind. Mark grips the edge with both of his hand, trying to find something to keep him balance. One of Jinyoung hand is cradling his face, stroking the hairline just behind his ears. The other is gripping Mark's hip, circling a pattern into his skin of his still bare upper body. The kiss is slow, _serene_. They are barely moving their lips against each other. Only small biting in between. A kiss that meant to not go anywhere. A kiss that searching for comfort, for companionship _. A kiss that fit their relationship perfectly._

Still closing his eyes, Jinyoung parts their lips. Proceed to rest his forehead against Mark's own. With ragged breathing, Jinyoung still doesn't say anything. So Mark observes, mapping the perfect features of the man in front of him, from his doe-eyes to his bee-stung lips. _They almost resemble one another._ How funny it is both of them end up in this place together, when clearly they prefer certain kind of man to be indulged in.

Jinyoung slowly opens his eyes. His hand that still resting near Mark's ear moves forward. A thumb stroking the side of Mark's lips. Jinyoung searches something in his eyes, and whatever he saw there, makes him giving Mark a small smile and another pecks.

"Anyway, thank you, Hyung. I really need that.", with that he lets Mark go. Backing away from kitchen, he starts to walk back into his home office. Just before, he opens the door, he looks back and says, "See you next week?".

Mark nods. _Not that Jinyoung saw it_ , because after uttering that question he opens the door, goes in, and the door closes with a soft click from the automated system that hold it. _Wow, so much for the lingering kiss just now._ If Mark has a tiny feeling over Jinyoung, he probably would be hurt by that kind of gesture. But he is not having any romantic feeling towards Park Jinyoung, which would be foolish of him to do so. Not a smart thing to do, looking at the circumstance they met and started all of this. And, Mark is a very logical being. He sees something complicated, and stirs away from it immediately. So, instead of hurting, every time Jinyoung treats him like he is the answer to all of his question and barely a minute after that shrugs him off like Mark is nothing but some casualty, Mark faces it as it is. **_An interesting change from his daily life,_** where he does a boring jobs, in a boring company, with even more boring colleague, back home to his upscale apartment complex but with a boring neighborhood. Park Jinyoung is the surprise on his boring life and he is going to enjoy it without complaining.

After dumping his now cold coffee into the sink, Mark starts to walk back into Jinyoung’s room. Brushing his teeth in the shower attached, where he finally found his shirt. He tries to put it on and makes himself look somewhat decent with four buttons missing. Several attempts went by and he still looks like a fuck-boy coming home after a rough night. So, Mark gives up. He just has to deal with it. He grabs his car key and gets out of Jinyoung's home.

Up front, in the circle drive way leading to Jinyoung's front porch, his red Ferrari is parked beautifully near a small fountain that becomes the center of this drive way. The red super car is the only non-boring stuff he owns, _because no, he doesn't own Park Jinyoung._ The red Ferrari is a thing that Mark buys on impulse, like a big FUCK YOU sign to all the mundane things happen in his life. The red Ferrari is also the only sign that deep inside Mark once had this playful side of him. The side that he repressed so hard, **_in order to adjust_**. And adjusting he has always been. All his life.

He lets the roof down, planning to enjoy a morning breeze on a short drive slicing through a pine trees which lining up beside a small private road led to Jinyoung's villa. The area is secluded enough, only consisting of three other villas beside Jinyoung's. Which is why Mark doesn't mind that they always hooking up here instead of his apartment. He likes the serene atmosphere leading to Jinyoung's place. It's like he is stepping into another world every time. It gives him time to adjust his mind before entering the busy city of Seoul.

Out of the pine tree, he puts his roof on and begins stepping on his gas. Eager to get home and just get over all of this. Monday morning means to be lazy day after all. He plans to just rolling around on his plush carpet and plays with Coco today.

_###_

_1st_

Thirty minutes are what it takes from Jinyoung's villa to Mark's apartment complex in the heart of crowded Seoul. He plans to park in his assigned spot, and something out of ordinary just great him there. Gone was a Harley that always parked there. _That Mark sees every day_ , almost like it never used by the owner _. That Mark admires a bit every time he gets off his car_. But it was not the problem. Now, replacing the Harley is parked a Hummer. A really big Hummer, that currently occupies one and a half parking spot. Leaving him only with a half space from his usual spot to fit his car in. Just how inconsiderate a people can be. _If he was going to upgrade his Harley to a big truck like this, shouldn't he also upgrade his parking spot to another spot that actually fit his car?_

Mark grits his teeth, aching to kick the Hummer just so the alarm would go off, forcing the said owner to come back to this parking lot, and Mark could give him a piece of his mind. _Wow, what a monday morning!_ He must deal with this kind of shit after getting up so late and stressing over the possibility of how his walk of shame would go this very morning. He is exhausted. He just wants to take a shower, order in a breakfast, and play with Coco. But now with this, he needs to go to the receptionist first before he goes straight to his apartment. Gives them notice, so the management could sort it out with whoever owner of that fucking Hummer _. Anyway, who use a Hummer in Seoul?_ It’s not like they live in a terrain challenging area that needs those kind of car. _Showing off jerks!_

He turns his car into available public spot just shy a block from his usual. Instead of taking a lift that will take him to his floor. He uses the further one which will take him to the main floor, where the receptionist is. Two floor after, he walks out of the empty elevator and goes straight to the receptionist after ignoring the usual greeting from the concierge.

Mina, the morning receptionist is sitting there. Apparently, talking on the phone with some tenant. After she giving out the parting bye, Mark is already voicing out his irritation to the soft looking woman with a pretty smile.

"Excuse me, Miss Myoui. Do you perhaps know why there is a really big car parking beside my usual spot, Level B1-0904?". A surprise apparent on Mina's expression with how disdain exuding from each syllable of Mark's question. Mark instantly feels bad. This must be a first time for Mina to see him other than the quiet Mr. Tuan, she used to be. Mark guiltily scratches the side of his neck, resulting in the more exposure of his already missing button shirt. Distracted with the movement, Mina eyes fall to his collarbone. Understanding downing on her eyes, because the surprise in her eyes turn into a mirth. And soon enough a giggle coming through her lips.

Sighing, Mark adjusts his collar. "Ss..sorry, I don't mean to yell at you. I... I just want to get to my room, but this thing happen.", Mark looks anywhere but Mina. Can sense the girl figuring him out after she saw Jinyoung's bite mark he accidentally exposed just now.

He fiddles a bit with his car key, looking at it like it is the most interesting thing in the world. Mina actually is a very friendly person, they often talk a bit if the situation just allow them for it. So, Mina must know why Mark shows up disheveled and what causes the bite mark on his collarbone. This is actually more embarrassing than getting judged by his neighbor.

"Ah, Mr. Tuan, actually the owner of B1-0906 just left before you came here. He said to tell you that he will move his car by the end of this day. Were you just come in?", there is a slight change of tone in the way Mina voicing the last question. Curious to what entails, Mark stops fidgeting and looking at Mina. The girl has audacity to grin at him.

He just has no time for this. So, he rubs his face with his arm and mumbling into it, "Not now, Mina~" and turns around without looking the girl that must be still grinning. It takes three steps for Mark, before Mina hollering behind him, "Please say hi to Jinyoung from me, next weekend you see him!".

Mark groans. Of course Mina would mention it. She works for the Wine Cellar where Mark met Jinyoung for the first time. In fact, Mina introduced Mark to the place. Asking him to check the place where she recently got a night shift in as a waiter. Said that the atmosphere is good and a lot cute boys go there to chill after work. One of the cute boys Mina referring to is Jinyoung.

This morning really did stray away a lot from his usual Monday Morning so far. He continues to walk into the main lift, still half buried his face into his hand and still ignoring the smile from concierge near the lift.

He waits for the lift to descend. Fidgeting nervously and bracing himself for the judgment that will be thrown at him from the group of people who'll come out. Fixing his collar, fluffing his hair a bit.

**_"DING..."_ **

The lift is here. Mark stops breathing. _Three.. Two.. One.._ The door opens. And... His reflection staring back at him from inside. He can't believe his luck! The lift is empty. He steps into the box, standing right at the middle. He jams his finger into the close button, willing the door to vastly close, so he could break free from a possibility of meeting any of his neighbor in his walk of shame. _Mina is enough already._

The metal door is starting to close. _Just a few more second._ He jams his finger repeatedly at the close button. As if by pressing it often, the door will close faster. _Okay, I think I survive this walk of shame. Three... two.. o..._

"WAIT!"

Just right before the metal door close for sure, a strong hand jams between the small openings. Mark holds his breath. _No... No... My freedom..._

As the hand appearing, slowly the metal door springs open. A hand morphs into an elbow, a strong bicep, a broad shoulder, and a man.

**_HOLY SHIT!_ **

_A man._ A fine man is standing right in front of the metal door. Carrying a leather jacket in his right hand which he holds it on his shoulder. His left hand carries a sleek black leather helmet. With ripped black jeans, high-ankle boots, and multiple piercing _\- Even one multi barbell on his left eyelid, for fuck sake -_ , this man feels out of place in his upscale apartment complex. This kind of man belongs to a back alley of shitty club or an illegal car race or a shady bar. Not in this building, and no way security let him in with that kind of swag styling. _No way_ , when practically all the tenant that live here are your typical crisp-suit and pressed-slack kind of people. Even impossible for this man to have a friend who live here ** _. To put it easy. Just, simply out of place._**

Nevertheless, this man takes Mark's breath away. He feels lightheaded. A heady experience mixes with the force this man brings to the lift with his strong presence. Mark unconsciously rakes through this man from the bottom, to the eyes that currently staring openly at himself. A glint of something dangerous appears on the cat-like eyes when he catches Mark staring. Small eyes, but captivating. Black orbs that seem bottomless, almost impossible to read. He says something, but Mark couldn't hear a thing.

The man walks inside the elevator, his mouth is moving but Mark's ears buzzing. His body moves on autopilot, sidestepping two times when the man stops just beside him and starting to push the number. The man looks at him funnily, lips moving again, but Mark still can't hear anything. _What? Am I suddenly turn deaf or something?_

A hot breath puffs on his left ear, "Breath."

Mark lets out a long exhale, one of his hand pressing into the mirror wall to keep his balance. The overwhelmed feeling he just experienced in fact because of he seems to momentary forget how to breath. He can feel his pupils dilated. Unblinking, still processing this event. From the corner of his eyes, Mark can see the man staring at his reflection on the metal door. A smug smile decorating his face, making his already sharp feature even sharper.

Silence stretching out inside the elevator. The man doesn't say anything. So does Mark. By this point, Mark is not sure if the one that whisper to him earlier was the man standing stoically beside him. The nonchalant aura which exuding from him suffocates Mark.

**_"DING!"_ **

A swat to his hand from some smooth material startles Mark. He moves his head to look at his own hand. And catching the man eyes instead. With his small eyes, the man gestures to the direction of elevator door. _Does he wants me to go with him? What the fuck? We only met just now?!_

Mark is about to give the man a piece of his mind. But, another swat of leather jacket is stopping him, "Aren't this your floor?”

"How do you know it is my floor?". Okay, now he is a bit anxious. _What if this man is a real bad guy, not only dressing the part but an actually criminal or something?_ Mark scoots closer to the mirror wall. Ready to punch the danger button any moment.

The man in front of him raises his hand and points to the blinking 25 number on the top of navigation panel. _Oh right. 25._ His floor. Embarrassment is spreading through his whole body. He can sense that the tip of his ear probably so red by now. He glances at the man, who gives him a raise of an eyebrow. He nods at him, proceeds to straighten his posture, while waiting for the metal door to open. Just before he steps out, he sees the navigation panel on his peripheral. The lone light that still on indicates that the man, in fact, is heading to floor 33th. _The top floor. The penthouse._

With a resounding **_"DING!",_** the metal door closes three footsteps behind him. Mark keeps walking straight ahead to the end of walkway, where a lone two massive door located. He keeps his focus on unlocking the door to his right, fighting the urge to look back into the elevator direction. Stupid, he knows, because by now the man probably already reaching the top floor. Nevertheless, the magnetic pull that the man leaves behind still lingering on the back of Mark's head. And he really wants to look back, _but no_. He unlocks his door instead, hurrying up inside, closing the door haphazardly, and instantly leaning his back to it. Slowly letting the strength in his legs go, and slumping into a sitting position.

His breath is still heavy. Still influenced by a previous encounter in the elevator that made he feels swept by a passing storm.

**_Who is that man?_ **

They barely in company with each other more than 5 minutes, but his strong presence suffocating Mark to the point he is still reeling from it, _even now_. When the said man is no longer in Mark's peripheral.

His finger unconsciously patting the softness of his Persian rugs. A thousand question fights over his brain. _Does he live here?_ No way, he should have notice him before at least once. _A new tenant?_ Less likely. The top floor is the one that Mark wants when he was planning to move into this apartment complex. But unfortunately, although no one staying there most time, it is in fact owned by someone who travels a lot, thanks to Mina he knows about this. So, no way the man just moved into it. And besides, looking like that, all rugged and ripped jeans and pierced like a seasonal bad boy, the man clearly does not belong to this scene. A place where goody-two-shoes woman and pressed-slack man lives with their equally angelic children.

_So, who is that man?_

For the first time since he lives here, Mark does not feel out of place. Strangely.

_###_


	2. Chapter 2

_2nd_

6AM on the following Sunday morning. Mark had successfully waking up on time to leave Jinyoung’s place at his usual time. Humming slightly to the non-existence music, he waits for the elevator to slowly take him to his floor from the Basement 1 where he parks his car. The spot beside his assigned parking area now is completely empty from any kind of vehicle. Gone was the Harley, so do the Hummer. He feels a slight twitch in his heart. He kind of missed the Harley that always there every time he gets off from his car. Making him remember that once, he had a similar manly vehicle as a hand down from his father. The one which he left behind in LA, when he decides to make a new life in Seoul. A new life that brought out a new him, and buried the real him in its wake.

**_“DING~”_ **

The elevator light blinks right on the <G> level. _Someone out early in this morning? Oh, scratch that. Visiting maybe?_ But visiting someone as early as 6AM in Sunday Morning is considered as a rude act, even for Mark. The metal door smoothly open up. A piercing gaze with two dots above left eyes greats him.

_Or maybe, just coming in, like me._

Upon realizing, it is someone he recognized, the man in front of Mark gives him a nod with a slow smirk spreading through his sharp features. Then, proceeding to enter the metal box and settling nicely beside him. Shoulder to shoulder like this, Mark aware that the man has a few centimeters on him. Not that it is a rare occurrence, Mark is a slender man. Small head, small bone, slim figure. But this difference in their physical suddenly comes into the light, with how the man dressed himself today. A totally opposite of the ripped jeans and leather jacket that gave him an illusion of youthfulness and recklessness, today the same man from last week wears the most clean cut three-pieces suit jacket Mark ever encounter. Even no one in his work place ever looked this dapper in that kind of suit. The black satin shirt, the blood red vest, and the equally blood red stripped suite jacket molds into the man’s body perfectly. It is clearly tailored specifically for him. Bring out the best feature of its owner, accentuating the broad shoulder, the trim waist, and the quiet nice arm. Mark would have thought that the man out early to attend some wedding, if not for the tie shoved into his pants pocket and the mess of bed hair completing the disheveled look. _The walk of shame looks._

“Don’t you know it is rude to stare so blatantly at someone like that?”, a tenor voice reaches Mark’s ear. He looks away. He was unconsciously staring at the man, _again_. Different from last week, Mark didn’t stare from the reflection, rather at the man itself. Fighting the urge to blush furiously, he puts on the best nonchalant expression he could muster. _Stare right ahead, don’t even look at his reflection. Okay, that’s right, good boy, Mark._

“Everyone will stare at someone wearing a tuxedo at 6AM on a Sunday morning.”

“But you don’t see me staring at you, wearing a pressed slack and a shirt with the suit jacket on your hand at 6AM on a Sunday morning. Even if you don’t wear the jacket, it is not less a tuxedo.”

 _Damn right, I trapped myself into that one._ The severity of this somewhat funny situation dawns on him. Mark laughs. A full belly laugh that echoing through the small metal box around them. It has been a while since he laughed freely like this, complete with stomach ache and few drop of tears escaping the corner of his eyes. Not even a Jackson antics could drive him to this state.

“Touché. I could have say I was on my way to Church, but forgot to feed my cat, so I had to go back. But I have a feeling that even if I tell that to you, you would still have a retort in your sleeve, Mister.”

A crispy laugh creeps out the smirk on the man’s face. The sound is melodious enough that it makes Mark enters another stunned frenzy. The man is a walking contradiction, even his laugh seems not belong to the fierce face of its owner. The way that laugh changing the stoic and almost smug expression of the man into a crescent moon eyes and a straight teeth grin, is such a stunning transformation. The man almost transforms into another person altogether. _Almost._

“I don’t strike you as a cat man, or a religious person at that. You are more to a dog lover type. And don’t call me Mister, I might be older than you but I am sure it is not by much.”

A hand stretches towards him. A somewhat small hand for a man at this size. Mark almost so sure if he shakes that hand, his own hand would completely engulfed the one currently extended for him to take. The second thing which Mark noticed is, a big scratch on the back of it and some on the side of the wrist. Not wanting to get caught staring again, Mark quickly shakes it while slowly looking at the man’s eyes for the first time, formally.

“Jaebum.”

A slow perusal from this man piercing gaze while he is gripping tight Mark’s hand makes his stomach churning. There is something intriguing to it. Sure the bravado and confidence are the first layer to it, but there is some curiosity lurking behind. If he is as sure of himself as he was once, past Mark could easily say that the man took interest in him. That behind the quiet perusal, actually there are one thousand and one question the man would like to ask. But even given permission, Mark would guess that the man prefer to discover the answer by himself. The man seems the type who likes to be challenged, to solve some mystery instead of giving the answer using a silver spoon. And Mark would know, because _once upon a time,_ he is the exact copy of this man. He could see his past self in this man, in Jaebum. From the carefree aura, the nonchalant facade, the loose mouth, even the fresh scratch on his hand. _An evident to a naughty night._ Mark would know, because, _once upon a time,_ he wore it also with confidence like Jaebum sporting right now. A scar to a battlefield that he conquered.

“So, Mister 25? Are you going to tell me your name or keep zoning out like this?”

“Mark, Mark Tuan and yes, I’m living on the 25th floor with my dog. I would say you are a cat person from this scratch in your hand, but something tell me the cat who scratched you walking with two legs instead of four.”

 _Also,_ something with this man which influencing Mark to more and more resembling his old self. The sarcasm and to-the-point tendency that Mark was once possessed are rearing its head out on his reply. For once, not wanting to feel like inferior in their conversation, which so far always seems in favor of Jaebum as the upper hand. Mark’s competitive nature lurks around from the snarky remarks. He just speaks his most inner thought without him even knowing. Something that he tried so hard to repress in order to adjust to his new found position in society he is currently belong.

To his surprise, his reply indeed renders Jaebum speechless. The sparks that previously occupied his eyes is turning into a shadowed cautious black orbs. _Calculating and perusing._ The hand that just now still shaking Mark’s own attempts to break free by loosening its grip.

Jaebum steps aside, widening the gap between them which somehow a little bit too close suddenly. Unsure when they started moving closer to each other. Jaebum stands straight again, back to his position when he first entered the metal box. Eyes stares ahead, straight posture with his hand inside his pants pocket. Jaebum clears his throat, looking fascinatedly at the display above the metal door. With how cold the atmosphere seems to become, Mark wonders if somehow he offended the man unknowingly. He is about to say something light to break the tense mood, when suddenly Jaebum head looks to the side towards his direction.

“We don’t kiss and tell, Mr. Tuan. This is called Walk of Shame for a reason.”

Stunned. Mark only could stay in his silent pose when the elevator lets out a **_“DING~”_** and Jaebum proceeds to walk out of it into a short corridor that end with a lone massive double door at the end of it. Much different from his own long hallway that separated into two sides which Mark shares with his neighbor. He catches a glimpse of Jaebum entering the massive door before the metal door in front of him close.

_How could someone be so brutally honest like that?_

_And how could he left me stunned like this, every time?_

Mark is so out of his games. He certainly loses his touch. _Eight years of pretending to be something you are not could do that to you._ His mind is blank with so many things awaken in him from such a short encounter with Jaebum. Only from the Ground floor to the 33th floor. _Wait, 33th floor? Why the elevator is not stopping on his level first?_ Yeah, right, Mark probably forgot to press his floor earlier. _Stupid morning, stupid walk of shame._ Every time, there is always something stupid that makes him screaming to himself inside his mind, for being so careless, for losing his calculated move ** _, for leaving the Mark he was once, behind._**

_###_


	3. Chapter 3

_3rd_

The kiss is languid. The way Jinyoung slightly rubbing his nape while sucking Mark's bottom lips betrays the overall feeling that this should be a bye-bye kiss instead of some opening to another naughtier act. Clingy Jinyoung appears once in every blue moon, and sometimes Mark got to enjoy that side of him too. _Just like today._

Starting from bringing him coffee in bed, a blowjob in the shower, even so far insisting on driving Mark back to his apartment complex, complete with a fresh bread to go from Jinyoung's favorite local deli. And now, the lingering parting kiss inside Jinyoung's car in front of his apartment building drop off point. Sadly, not that Mark isn’t enjoying the kiss, but he should put an end to the kiss. The kiss is far too long to be suspicious enough for the valet man to start approaching Jinyoung's car.

When the valet man about to knock on the tinted glass, Mark purposely rolls down the back window to buy them sometimes. True to be hold, instead of knocking on Jinyoung's side, the valet man approaches the rolled-down side on the back. During all that, Mark parts his lips from a still passionate Jinyoung. Earning some whine from the later, when Mark dodges Jinyoung's attempt to catch back Mark's lips. He puts both his hand on Jinyoung's cheek to still his movement.

"I need to go in, Jinyoung."

Pouting, Jinyoung detangles himself from Mark's embrace. Running a hand to his hair, and giving Mark a small smile while Mark gets off from his car. It is never easy, to part with this Jinyoung. The pout and the sad eyes are making afloat an illusion of romantic feeling that actually does not exist. Mark never fooled himself, but there is a time that he wonders what if all this faux emotion turns out to be real. _Will he finally be able to unbox his old self and be free, with Jinyoung as his wings? **Okay, less likely.**_ Mark with Jinyoung is more of the reserved Mark, rather than his old self. _His real self that he miss._ He is not sure whether Jinyoung will still find him worth the hassle enough to fool around with if Jinyoung met with his old self six months ago in that Wine Cellar.

Watching Jinyoung's car speeding through the coldness of cloudy Sunday morning, Mark shivers lightly. Still dressed in his last night club attire is sure not helping for such a breezy morning like today. Yesterday, Jinyoung got them some invitation to a newly opened club in downtown, insisting to pick Mark up and then going there together instead of meeting in the club as usual. The night turned out to be a little on the wild side for Mark's liking. In his drunken state, he even forgot to check out his coat when he left with Jinyoung past midnight.

That left him here, shivering without his coat. Only cladded in black skinny jeans, long-sleeved black V-neck cashmere shirt that cling onto his body like a second skin, plus his black chocker to complete the look. Anyone who looks at him right now will notice for sure that he spend the previous night not tucked inside his comfy blanket. He really needs to get in before throng of his neighbor starts tricking out for their Sunday morning sermon.

On his way to elevator, Mark briefly glances to the receptionist table. Noting that Mina has not arrived yet. The night receptionist, Youngjae, is far too bright for someone who stayed up all night. He gives Youngjae a small nod and proceeds walking faster to the elevator area. The concierge bids him a good morning while kindly pressing the elevator button for him.

He unconsciously pats down his jeans pocket to check if his key is still there. _Damn, skinny jeans._ Mark is getting too much comfortable in his work attire. He can't belief that now he prefers a pressed slack rather than a skinny jeans which he always wears back in his college days. He is having a hard time to fish out his key from the rather depth pocket. _Wow, is it always this hard?_

**_"DING~~"_ **

Absentmindedly, Mark enters the metal box while still struggling with his too tight pocket. _Ahh, I can grab it._ At the same time he finally succeed in grabbing the key, he collides into someone. With his right hand still trapped inside his pocket, Mark is losing his balance. He ends up throwing all his weight into someone in front of him. Both of them staggers back until hitting the back mirror of elevator wall.

"As much as I love that you voluntary throw yourself like this at me, I have to say, sorry, I don’t do a sloppy second, Mark."

A familiar voice greets him. With his head still face-planted in the man's chest, Mark peers up to see if the owner of that voice is really someone he thinks about. _And yes,_ there is in fact, a Jaebum that looks down at him amusedly while putting both hands up on each side of his own head. _Trying to show your manner, huh? Keep your hand to yourself?_

Mark staggers to regain his own footing. He gives Jaebum a glare before forcing his key out and standing to the left side of Jaebum. _Sloppy second, who is him to call Mark that._ _What a crude mouth, and dirty assumption._ As if Mark will allow Jaebum to do him. _Not that he would reject a chance to spend the night with such a fine specimen, if Jaebum asks nicely. _As if it is okay to tell someone he barely knew that he thought Mark is a bottom. _Not that he minds bottoming for Jaebum._ As if Mark really threw himself at him. _What a jerk._

"Your boyfriend dressed you up?"

Mark stays silent. Not even acknowledging the question that Jaebum throws a new at him. He knows for a fact, with his blood boiling like this, some unpleasant retort would come out as soon as he opens his mouth. So, he opts to stay silent. Retaining some dignity after a crude accusation that somehow hurts his pride a little. Let Jaebum think whatever, Mark will not satisfy his curiosity by offering him an easy answer.

"He did you good, huh? Lips too bust up, too swollen like that, so you feel too hurt to move it for answering my question? Or he fucked your throat raw, so you lost your voice?"

Mark ignores the jab. Fully knowing that Jaebum purposely did that so he could make Mark opens up. _But hell, didn’t it hurt to hear it._  All the assumption. _Does he really look like that type of man in front of other people? In Jaebum's mind? That, he is the type of man who’s willingly to be used like that during sex? Is that how fragile he looks in front of Jaebum?_

"Nah, I don’t think so. Your boyfriend probably too vanilla to do that. Looking at how you could walk and go about totally fine each morning I met you in this elevator."

Mark risks a glance at Jaebum direction from their reflection in the metal door. What he sees there totally out of his wildest imagination. How fuming Jaebum is _._ Gone was the suave and layback man Mark accustomed to during their encounter before. Mark sees a man dressed in a plain black V-neck T-shirt with a sinfully tight leather pants, moving his jawline front and back in a furious way. Jaebum is looking at him, eyes wild and jaw tight, tracing every bit of Mark movement. Searching for a reaction that Mark fitfully denied of him. His eyes locks with Jaebum's fiery one through the reflection. _Something changes in them._

Like a graceful movement from a feline creature but fast as the wild one in a jungle, Jaebum's hand clutches Mark's jaw. The grip is not hard enough to be painful, but strong enough for Mark to feel uncomfortable in. Jaebum tilts Mark's face towards his direction. Fiery eyes meets his stubborn one straight on. The annoyance is palpable. The annoyance, Mark thinks, is a good look on Jaebum. More suitable for the sharp feature of him rather than the usual laidback and carefree expression Mark has been seeing. The fire in Jaebum's eyes enlightens something in him. _He wants to be burned in it._ He wants to touch the fire and see if it is as hot as it looks like from here. From the outside. Surrounding by that fire, Mark could see the box, which he built to trap himself in, burnt and turn into a pile of pitch black ashes. He sees himself burnt, _but never scream for any pain._ Instead he feels an immense relieved feeling. A possibility. _A chance._

"I don't like to be ignored, Mark."

 _A minute._ _Two minutes._ **_Three minutes._** Mark stares right on to the fire. Head on, never flinching, refusing to back down. While, the owner of the fiery eyes, keep asserting his annoyance, keep standing his ground, keep staring and willing Mark to succumb in each passing minutes. The fire is getting bigger, turning the black orbs into a completely dark abyss. Mark is so close to look down, to look away, to relent into the fire, to let himself be burnt. But something tell him, _the games just begins._ And he doesn't want to turn into ash right from the start. Not when the box that trapped him still intact. The box needs to turn into ashes first, and after that, Mark will let himself be burnt alongside the fire inside this man.

**_"DING!"_ **

_Save by the bell._ Mark jerks himself out of Jaebum's grip and moves to the elevator door immediately. But right before his left foot bring him out of the metal box, Jaebum grabs his hand. Mark looks down, staring at the hand that hold him back.

"Where is the little fireball that talking back to me from last week? Don't hide it Mark, I know it is there in you."

 _This man._ This stranger manages to figure him out only after three encounters. Three times, and still Jaebum always get to say the final word that never failed to make Mark stunned.

Upon hearing the words, Mark's eyes snaps up to Jaebum. What he sees there, manages to stay on his mind for the most part of his following weeks. Instead of the fiery orbs, Mark meets with a compassion and a determination. As if, from the look alone, Jaebum wants to apologize about his earlier rude talks and wants to explain that he did it for Mark. To coax the real Mark that he met last week. The Mark that managed to render Jaebum speechless. _It is too much._ Mark overwhelms. He needs to run before he interprets Jaebum's stare into something that it is not. He jerks his hand in time with the metal door closing separating him from Jaebum.

_What was that?_

 

 

_###_

 

 

Freshly showered with a hot chocolate filling up the mug he holds on his sweater paws, Mark curls into himself on his comfy white couch. _Jaebum._ The dark orbs that always stares at him so deep inside, figuring him out with a curiosity that scare him every time, every each of their encounter. It is almost if Jaebum could see through this facade that surrounded Mark for years since he arrived in Seoul. _Coax him to play like an old friend they aren't._ The way Jaebum talks, the way Jaebum knows just the right thing to say to make the snarky side of Mark desperate to come out and play. All of these, as if Jaebum knows Mark for far too long to be fooled with the good boy mask Mark constantly wearing around him, around everyone. When in fact, they are nothing but a mere stranger. A neighbor he occasionally meets during his walk of shame every Sunday morning. _Nothing else, nothing more._

 _That grip on his chin_ , Mark can still feel it. _Feel the burn it left on his skin, the pressure it asserts on his bone._ Also the deep of Jaebum voice saying that he doesn't like to be ignore. What Mark heard is different from that. _He hears a warning_ , that it will be the first and the last time Mark was allowed to disobey the man. _The warning_ which prompts Mark to rebel. _The touch_ that feeling like a start to some interesting games Mark longs to play since forever. _The fire_ which Mark interprets as a chance. That maybe, _finally maybe,_ he found that something which will set himself free. Where he be able to show his real self, without fearing to be judged as something other than normal. Where he could be as himself, not adjusting to be normal. Where he finally found a channel where he comfortable in his own skin. _Where he feels like home in this foreign country._

_Jaebum. Jaebum. Jaebum._

Besides the fire, Mark still thinks that there is something in Jaebum which making himself feeling like a nostalgia. Seeing a lot in him, that he could totally see in his own younger self. _Wouldn't it be a funny thing?_ He buries that version of himself, only to run straight into a completely alive and breathe version on someone else. _Someone that he can't help but attracted to._ Either attracted because of some fascinating feeling awoken from seeing his old trait from his recent self, _or_ attracted because of the enigma that is Jaebum. Jaebum who lives on the penthouse of Mark apartment complex but only manages to stumble upon him just now. Jaebum who could be passed as a thug on other side of the town with his ripped jeans and multiple piercing. Also, the same Jaebum who looked like a million bucks with his red three-piece-suits. But then, the similar Jaebum who could tell Mark earlier in the elevator that he is a rocker with his leather pants, plain black shirt, chrome chains, and Mark would have believed him.

Mark can't read him. At all. _What is his job? How old is he? Is he even gay, or bi, or straight?_ Jaebum could be a high-end prostitute, or drug dealer, or a sugar baby for all Mark knows. Mark somehow could picture Jaebum in all these roles. As for the age, probably both of them around a similar age. One slightly older, and probably it is Jaeb um. Mark also could picture Jaebum as a gay, straight, or even a bi with that kind of face and abundant charm he seems to possess. _Presence dominant enough_ for Mark to guess that Jaebum probably never been a bottom even once in his life. _Face pretty enough_ for older man to invest in. _Aura brooding enough_ for all kind of girl flocked in closer.

_Jaebum. Jaebum. Jaebum._

_Too much Jaebum_ on his mind to his liking. He needs a distraction. A loud friend that speaks too much, so Mark could stop thinking all things Jaebum. Slurping the last bit of his lukewarm hot chocolate, Mark reaches for his phone. He knows exactly one person that fits the criteria. _A loud friend. Then Jackson Wang it is._

The phone rings, rings, and rings. Just about a second before, it goes straight to voicemail, a groggy voice greets him at the other side of the line.

"This better be important. I barely asleep just now."

"What happened to your voice?"

"Someone fucked my throat an hour ago, what do you want Mark? I'm trying to sleep here."

"Seriously Jacks?"

"I'm trying to regain my consciousness as hard as it is to speak to you Markie.. Just tell me what you want, pretty please?"

"Can't I just want to talk to you?"

"Don't say bullshit Mark, you barely say anything every time we get together. Just spill it now.."

"Wow, someone didn't get laid last night~"

"In fact, I got fucked all night long and all morning that I am so exhausted I can't entertain you now."

"That's it, I’m coming over."

"You really don't want to see me right now, Mark."

"I'm coming over."

"Fine, bring large green tea latte and my favorite cheese croissant on your way."

Click. _So much for needing a comfort._ He needs a sunny Jackson, instead he gets a super cranky Jackson. A rarity in Jackson he knows. _Jackson is a simple guy._ He only needs his beauty sleeps, organic tea, protein shakes, a spank or two every weekend, all is set for him to be vomiting sunshine 24/7. It has been a while since he met this side of Jackson. Curiosity pumps his needs to see the state Jackson in with his own eyes.

Took him under ten minutes to haphazardly wears his denim jacket over his home-wears, drives a block to the corner store where the pastry shop Jackson frequent in located, then proceeds to speed into Jackson's Condotel just around the corner from his own apartment complex.

Jackson buzzed him in already. And true to his statement on the phone, Mark really doesn't want to see the state Jackson in right now. His dear friend is sprawling out on his stomach. All the curtain inside his bedroom still close, making the room pitch black with ray of sunshine pushing through in between the blinds. The floor to ceiling window completely obscured from view. Jackson, face planted on the mount of pillow all around the still naked body which only covered by a thin sheets from the waist below. Jackson's back is full of small welts and some rope burn at the base of his neck. A clear finger prints could be seen in each side of his waist.

Mark drops his paper bag. _What a shocking image, no wonder Jackson didn't want him to go here._ Mark is no stranger to Jackson many kinks in bedroom, but to finally witness the aftermath like this, to say he scarred for life is only putting it lightly. _Does Jackson really enjoy this kind of rough treatment during sex?_ He would never know until this very moment.

A dull thud which accompany the tumbling down of Jackson's morning delicacy is proven to be loud enough for the later to wake for his sleepy state. The worry that settled on the pit of Mark's belly completely disappears when he sees expression adorning Jackson face while looking at him from the pillow nest he created. Jackson might look like he spend the night brawling with a mountain lion –full of scars, a double eye bag below his bloodshot eyes. But the slow satiated smile is telling Mark otherwise. Come to think of it, Jackson has this glow which people only obtained as an aftermath of post-coital contentment. So, instead of his earlier plan to hug Jackson for comfort, Mark approaches his friend and spanks his butt for a good measure. _Serve him right for making Mark worried._

"Aww. What was that for? My butt is as sore as it is, and you still torture me more!"

"I regret come over here in a rush just to witness this disgusting afterglow you had on you."

Jackson shrieks and lets out his signature hyena laugh. He shifts his body and rearranges it so he lies on his side now. If the backside view of him could be passed as a sign of warzone victim, his front view is a different story. Mark even feels a little jealous over it. By how much bite marks, hickeys, and purplish splotches on Jackson's neck, chest, abs. Mark could tell that Jackson finally found someone who could give back as much affection and passion as Jackson always never failed to shower his lover with.

No wonder Jackson feels content as he is now. It has been a long time since Mark's ears getting tired of Jackson moaning about how his chosen lover of this season is not as into him for his liking. Never shower him with affection, or not kissing him with abundant passion behind, or too scared to inflict pain when he was asking. _Jackson needs to feel alive_ in his real everyday life and extends to his need in between the sheet.

Mark would consider Jackson as an interesting switch, because he goes totally all the way for both roles. Jackson could be a really pushy top, but at the same time, Jackson could be a very needy bottom. The later part is a rare occurrence. With how bulky and toned his friend is, few men dare enough to approach him if not Jackson approaches them first. And Mark thinks, it is a long overdue for that part of Jackson to come out and play. _Been years even._

"What happen to the after care?” Mark picks up the fallen paper bag, wishing Jackson's latte is still intact. He studies the way Jackson lazily rearranging the sheet to make himself more decent. Mark moves closer. Jackson pats the empty spot beside him, gesturing for Mark to sit there.

"He did," Jackson lets out a slow breath, "but he always left early. Something about not wanting to get caught by his neighbor." Jackson closes his eyes briefly, the gaze after that almost like a wishful one, "I don't know if it is an excuse. He never here when I wake up."

If Jinyoung is, _sometimes,_ clingy, Jackson Wang is, _always_ , clingy. Jackson is a high-maintenance lover. _That type of person which Easy to fall in love, but hard in forgetting._ And seeing both the hope and disappointment in his best friend eyes, Mark bets that Jackson is already halfway falling in love with his flavor of the month. In addition, the fact that Jackson actually bottomed for this man after so long. Mark knows Jackson. _As manly as Jackson looked, as manly as Jackson wants people to perceive him as,_ Jackson is enjoying more to be taken care of, rather than the one who take care of. Mark needs to be careful now with his questioning if he wants Jackson to spill about his new conquest.

"Is this still the same ‘he’ that got a tattoo inside of his mouth?"

"Yes, of course it is him, Mark. Why are you being weird, haven't I told you his name?"

Mark pets Jackson thigh, which Jackson relaxing into. His friend looks _really, really,_ tired. Mark shakes his head, answering Jackson question.

"It's JB."

 _JB? What kind of name is that?_ It's not like here is the US, where people use their initial for a swagger measure.

"Where do you met him?"

Jackson grabs the paper bag on Mark's hand. Tearing up the paper, to reach at his green tea latte. He takes a sip of it, some of the liquid slosh out from his lips during his haste to drink it. Mark can't help but wiping his friend messy chin using his sweater paws. Jackson looks at him with his sparkly eyes, sending a gratitude towards Mark. Munching his cheese croissant and moaning contently, Jackson sure takes a lot of time to answer his question.

"You remember Yugyeom?” Of course Mark remember the tall boy which is a DJ by night and a dance studio owner by day, Yugyeom is one of many Jackson friends. "Yugyeom has a friend, named Bambam. Bambam is a buyer manager in my aunt boutique chains. He holds a gala every month for his business relation alike. And JB was one of the guest."

Slurping another sip from his latte, Jackson rearranges his position a bit, "He came to a black-tie party dressed in leather jacket, ripped jeans, and a high-pointed-toe boots. It was a designer, but still, should had been a sore thumb in the crowd, but he owned the room instead. People seems to know that it was his usual antics. Because they only patted him in the back and laughed along with him, instead of mocked him in a hush whisper."

Jackson smiles a bit, probably lost in reminiscing the Gala Night, three weeks ago. In a way, Mark really likes how this new lover of him seems bring Jackson some contentment that he's been searching for a while. He hopes it will end well for his friend. _Jackson deserves the world._ He is truly a kind-hearted person, which too selfless sometimes.

"He spotted me. Even so bold to interrupt me talking with my own group of friend. Mark, I've never,” another sigh comes from Jackson's mouth, "meet someone so commanding like him. When he excused me from the circle, then grabbed my hand and took me to the balcony, I just can't help but following him. I didn't even know his name, but there was something to him, that made me...", Jackson rubs his eyes, and lets out a long breath, his eyes that has been looking faraway focusing on Mark, "want to submit.". He holds Mark’s gaze for a while before wandering back to the paper bag in front of him.

The way Jackson held his gaze earlier tells Mark something and everything Jackson wanted Mark to know. _Submit._

When Mark said it has been a while since Jackson bottomed for someone, there is more story to it. The first and the last time Jackson did it, was about four years ago. His partner was introducing Jackson to a new world that could feed in Jackson's needs to be taken care of, to be pampered. When Jackson followed Mark to move into Seoul, unfortunately the mutual relationship was forcefully ended. His partner was kindly enough to help Jackson connect with his acquaintance in Seoul that could be the replacement of his role in taking care of Jackson. Several meetings later, Jackson came to Mark with a defeated expression on his face. Said that he would not continue his special lifestyle for a time being. The reason is being that no one he met makes him want to submit to them, _willingly._ From that moment, Jackson never bottomed. _Or so he's been telling Mark._

So, hearing the word ' _Submit'_ from Jackson's lips after these four long years, is a big surprise for Mark. The word so foreign that he doesn't know how to react. Part of him thrilling for his friend to finally get to fulfill his basic needs again. Part of him also anxious and nervous for Jackson's future. _Will this only a temporary thing or could develop into something serious and last for a life time?_

Mark's trail of thought is interrupted by Jackson waving the latte in front of him. Clearly encouraging him to give it a taste. Mark slurps some into his own mouth, maintaining eye contact with his friend while at it. From the look of it, Jackson tries to gauge his reaction.

"So, are you guys exclusive or what? Almost a month with one steady lover is so not you, Jacks. Should I start to prepare for your wedding or something?"

His attempt to lighten up the mood is reciprocated with Jackson's hearty laugh. Something that Mark doesn't expect from how low Jackson's mood bar when he first entered the room earlier. Jackson throws an itty-bitty of his croissant in Mark's direction. The faraway looks on his eyes has cleared a bit.

"Hell no. I can't have any feeling for him Markie. I can't tell he is a fuck-boy from the very first glance. I know the risk, but you know, I need him more to withstand the side effect. A person can need someone, without having a romantic feeling, right? Kinda how a baby needs a babysitter or a patient needs a nurse? You get what I mean?"

"Just.. Stay true to your word, Jacks. Don't be into deep."

"I get what you mean, I know what I'm dipping myself into, how far I be able to dive without feeling out of breath. Don't worry Markiepoooh, but thanks for the warning."

They both smile knowingly. It is time to leave out the topic locked somewhere else but keep the key close inside their own pocket for a moment to revisit and revise in the future if deem necessary.

A fatigue from the previous night starts catching up on him. He might as well get a little nap here before driving back home. Besides, he is still worried Jackson not getting enough of proper after care. At time like this, being alone with his thought is not a wise thing for Jackson to do if he wants to rip the benefit of last night romps instead of falling into a really bad sub-drop condition. Mark decides to just lay down on his side, in front of Jackson who still eating the remnants of his cheese croissant. He toes off his shoes, trying to worry later of where it landed.

"So, what it is that brought you here on a Sunday morning? It's a day you lazing around, moping all day inside your apartment, isn't it?"

"Well..."

"Something happened with your lover boy who you always refuse to introduce me to?"

"No, Jacks, I ... I met someone ..."

Words after words tumble out from his lips. Babble on and on about all things Jaebum. From the most impactful first encounter, to the weird showdown just this morning. Mark lets out all his speculation, curiosity, and interest towards Jaebum. How Jaebum reminds him of his old self, how Jaebum makes him back to his old sarcastic way, and how Jaebum always stunned him speechless on every encounter. Mark rants a lot for his standard. He is not the type to share his detailed emotion like this, even to Jackson. Prefer to solve all thing inside himself. When he runs out things to talk about, he peers to Jackson's side and finds that his best friend is sound asleep. Sighing, _so much for his much needed comfort._ He is almost sure that Jackson didn't hear even third of his rants from before.

When he drives back to his apartment an hour later, Mark just realizes that he didn't even once mention Jaebum's name to Jackson. Refering to Jaebum as him, or he, or the man. He considers this as a win to his wish earlier, to reduce Jaebum from his mind even for a bit.

_###_


	4. Chapter 4

_4th_

"No. I won't choke you. Why are you even suggesting something like this, Mark?"

Regret, and mostly disappointment sloshes over him. Somehow, Mark already predicts this kind of rejection from Jinyoung. Jinyoung is as traditional as it is in bedroom. Prefer to have sex in missionary style. Perfecting the epitome of a blushing virgin to its dot. Refuse to swallow after a blowjob. Also, completely against any form of pain-inflicting act unless it is done unconsciously on the throne of passion. That is Park Jinyoung.

"If you want us to switch, that's fine. I can try it for you. But choking? Are you kidding me? Where this bullshit idea even come from?"

Jinyoung continues typing away on his computer. Not even giving Mark a slight glance, in spite of talking to him with a rather harsh tone. Mark props himself on the side of un-lit fireplace. Arm hugs himself tightly. He didn't know why bother to tell Jinyoung this request when he was almost sure Jinyoung will side-eyed him for even bringing this up.

But, _he really should try it._ See if he and Jinyoung have a deeper connection more than what they had so far. Because Mark couldn't continue like this. Not when lately, what he has with Jinyoung is starting to leave him unfulfilled from time to time. Is it because of boredom, Mark doesn't know for sure. He needs to figure out what it is that changing. If it is really because of boredom, then perhaps a change of situation would be a fresh welcome. Hence his request.

Gauging Jinyoung apparent distaste to his suggestion is making Mark concluded that it is only so far their attraction towards each other goes. Mark couldn't see any other thing that could possibly spiced up his and Jinyoung weekly romps. Well, so far what they always do were nice and all. _Until it stops making Mark content._

After witnessing his best friend's glow and serene smile last week, Mark keeps wondering if he would finally reach that point in live. _Where he freely embraced who he is, what he likes, and bravely acknowledge how he prefer to do it._ Not that Mark had an experience to something intense like Jackson currently enjoys with his lover of the moment. Mark almost as vanilla as Jinyoung in term of sex. But that is not saying he completely against it like Jinyoung seems to be. Mark has a lot of curiosity. He simply never had any channel _or rather,_ partner, to explore his extensive curiosity. Now that he meets Jinyoung, which somehow he feels click with, in term of bedroom hunger, Mark wants to revisit his long-past-due curiosity. Hoping that Jinyoung will want to be his partner in crime. _Hope_ is the key word.

"I get it if you feel bored. I appreciate that you try to come out of your comfort zone to spice thing up. But, it is so not very you, Mark."

Oh, Jinyoungie~ how wrong you could be. Probably Jinyoung will piss himself if he knows what kind of kinky porn Mark collects on his locked hard drive back home. How the idea of asphyxiation or even cuff and blindfold would get him from zero to hundred in below 5 minutes. How he honestly, almost jealous of Jackson. How he wish he get to experience some kind of sex that Jackson always enjoys, proudfully. How he crave someone pinned him down, rather than he pinned someone down.

And then, from this statement alone, Jinyoung proved himself that he is not knowing Mark at all. It is a testament of how Jinyoung only see the version of Mark that Mark choose to share to everyone on his social circle nowadays. _The good boy Mark._

Offering no response to Jinyoung’s utter rejection, Mark doesn't want Jinyoung to feel his disappointment. Doesn't want Jinyoung to know that he, _after all,_ had affected Mark this much.

Mark pushes himself from the wall he leaned in. He walks further into Jinyoung's study room, bypassing a floor-to-ceiling shelves full of books. He circles Jinyoung’s big mahogany desk and walks further into the massive window right behind. He opens the curtain slightly, and braced his hand to the marble frame that lining its bottom. The view to Jinyoung's front garden from this second floor is astonishing. He could see his red Ferrari parked near the small fountain.

 _Red. His color._ A glimpse to his true self. _Also red._ The color to certain someone's suit that had his mind accidentally driving into last night. While he had Jinyoung in his arm, squirming and begging for more.

Mark closes his eyes. Even now, the image is still vivid. How his passion tenfold from nearly going on autopilot mode to a fervor notch, but sadly not aroused by the very person he buried himself in last night. He waited for the remorse and guilty feeling to strike him all night. Instead, he was laying alone in Jinyoung bed, feeling anything but those feeling. _He was numb._ All that replayed on his mind was. Himself, squirming and begging, much like Jinyoung did. With a red-suited man, adorning multiple piercing and foxy eyes, above him. Looking at Mark, with a smirk that last for a lifetime. With a raspy voice that whispering, "I don't like to be ignored, Mark.”

Mark shudders. Despite a beginning ray of sunshine that hit his right side. Another Sunday morning. _Should he continue with this thing with Jinyoung?_ It is a sign to something changing within himself if he was so distraught during a sex that for so long has been his safe haven. _Something he looks forward to every weekend._ Also, setting aside his lack of guilt and romantic feeling, it is still not a right thing to do for him to use a thought of someone else while getting off with another person. He needs to set his mind back on the right track again. _He should do right by Jinyoung._ Jinyoung never anything but good to him, aside from his manipulative and coy way to get Mark giving what he want. He can't face himself if he ever does anything bad, intentionally or unintentionally, to Jinyoung. _Not that Jinyoung probably care._ Truthfully, he also does this for himself too. He doesn't want something like this happen to him as a karma.

Opening his eyes. He makes a decision. Right there and then. He would rearrange his mind, put it to the right path before he is allowed himself back to this place. _He needs to put a break on this first._ No need to continue muddling his mind with a confusion that coming up from another person. It has been fun, for sure. And with this exact reason, which is he dipped into this looking for fun, he certainly will not put himself in a headache inducing situation. _Remember? Mark is a simple man. He sees something complicated, he would stay away from it._ He observes that keeping Jinyoung’s company, while bored out of his mind during it, is a hassle not worth his time. Not worth the whirlwind he experienced while trying to find the cause. Especially since the very man himself, currently rejected his proposal to make it bearable, at least on Mark side.

"I’m not gonna coming here for a while. I hope you are fine with it.", Mark rotates his body. Leaning against the window sill, looking at the back of Jinyoung's head. The later doesn't even look away from his workstation. Continue typing away on the white wireless keyboard in front of him.

"Fine. As always, thank you, Mark.", adjusting his reading glasses, Jinyoung looks at him briefly, offering a small smile before his eyes trains back to the screen again. Not even fazed a bit with Mark's announcement.

 _Not surprising, but it still stings a bit anyway._ Mark shoves his hand inside his pants pocket, prepares to walk out of the room. When he is about to walk pass Jinyoung, his mind telling him to give Jinyoung a kiss. So, he stops beside Jinyoung's chair, kisses the top of his head, and proceeds to ruffle the hair of a person whom he once so fond of. When he walks away, he hears a small chuckle from Jinyoung and a parting greet.

"Good bye, Mark."

With a soft click, the door closed behind him. He leans his head on it. _Good bye._ Yes, somehow this might be a good bye, though he doesn't know yet. He hopes it is not, because he really did enjoy Jinyoung's company.

What he didn't know is, a mutter Jinyoung said to himself when the door already separating them into two different path.

"He is already occupying your mind, anyway."

 

 

 

_###_

 

 

 

 

A rumble of heavy machine sound greets Mark when he is about to roll up the top of his Ferrari. The sound distracts him. It is very familiar sound that he's been long to hear. To feel the powerful machine vibrating between his two legs. To revved the gas so the machine lets out an even more powerful sound that never failed to bring wide satisfied smile from his lips. Back then, back in LA.

A pitch black Harley comes into his right peripheral. A Harley Davidson Sportster Iron 883 in Pitch Black Series. Parking smoothly in its usual spot, which has been vacant for three weeks. A man with an expensive looking navy bomber jacket and black ripped jeans perches on top of the vehicle, complete with a leather boots and an equally leather hand gloves. Finally, Mark gets to meet the owner after drooling at the said vehicle for almost a year.

He is busying himself with his glove compartment, buying a little moment so he could time his getting off from the car with when the Harley owner about to take off his helmet. From this angle, he only could see the side face of the man.

A messy burgundy red hair with familiar sharp nose and pierced ear meet his eyes as soon as the helmet off. Of course, the owner would be Jaebum. _Who else in this apartment complex crazy enough to own a Harley to ride in the middle of such a busy and big city as Seoul._ He should have seen it sooner. _Oh, wait, so the Hummer is Jaebum's too then?_

Jaebum ruffles his hair a bit before standing to the side and putting his helmet on the saddle. Looking too good for someone who should be crumpled from a windy ride.

"Figure. Of course the Harley and Hummer are yours. Very typical."

Normally, Mark just would leave it alone. But, his mouth itched so much to throw those judgments to Jaebum. Much of how Jaebum did to him a week ago.

Jaebum whips his head so fast. He almost knocked down the helmet to the ground with his hasty movement. Now seeing the newly dyed red hair complete with the face, Mark could feel the effect of the visual on a full-blown scale. The bright burgundy hair suits Jaebum too much. _It makes him..._ more playful, yet still dangerous. If the black hair makes Jaebum looked mysterious and untouchable, the red hair Jaebum is an epitome of playful and daring. Complete with the slow smirk that now grazed his cat-like face, upon seeing Mark still sitting inside his car.

"What 'the typical' you are referring to here?"

"Typical seasonal bad boy that every mom warns her girl to stay away from."

Jaebum is laughing at this. Shaking his head and showing off a pretty pearly straight teeth. The man is very attractive. There is no objection to that. The attraction between them is now palpable. Swirling around them like a magnetic moment. Unknowingly, Mark already included on this game. Unknowingly, with his last reply, Jaebum could wrongly misinterpret his supposed to be jab with something in completely different meaning. _Like flirting._ Hence the laugh. _Wrong move, Mr. Tuan, wrong move._

Jaebum holds up his helmet, replaces it with himself. Sitting sideways on the saddle, facing Mark. He probably observes the whole image inside his mind. Mark, with his dusty pink knitted pull-over he stole from Jinyoung’s closet, sitting inside his 2015 Ferrari 458 Italia Convertible. Mark could tell that Jaebum appreciate the view, _or rather the car,_ from the way his eyes glisten more after the once over.

"So, did your mother tell you to stay away from me then? Is that why you were so quiet last week?"

"Unfortunately, because I am a boy, who likes boys more than girls, my father just threw me a pack of condom on my 16th birthday, 12 years ago. Bless his kind heart. Really considerate."

Another laugh escapes Jaebum. _More freely, less calculating._ The man should definitely laugh more. It is very endearing. The way his eyes also laughing with him. He could fool everyone to be the warm person he does not seems to be on a daily basis. _Very endearing indeed._ The way Jaebum wears his heart inside his eyes, whenever he shreds a little of his usual resting-bitch-face mode.

Mark moves to get out of his car. Close the door and sit down on the rolled-down window frame. Waiting Jaebum to finish his laughing. He envies the hearty laugh. As if Jaebum has no care for the rest of this world. He effortlessly irritates Mark by being himself. By representing every things which Mark gave up and now is desperate to catch back. _His freedom to express himself._ To be the Mark he was.

"You're 28 years old?"

Mark nods. Jaebum continues to laugh. Something clearly seems to be so amusing for him.

"You're older than me, after all."

This information fazed him a bit. After so long assuming that they both had a reverse order in term of age, this fact is both throwing him out of the loop and, at the same time, giving him a little relieved feeling. Sure age is not an issue for him, but it is different here in Korea. His mind comes into realization that he could play an age card to Jaebum. Already imagining the satisfaction of making Jaebum bow-down to him, just simply by needing to call him as Mark-Hyung.

"So, call me Hyung, then."

The big smile dies down so quick. Left no warm trace at all on Jaebum’s face. The face that seem so welcoming just a mere seconds ago transforms back into its usual stoic state. Delivering a word that completely shatter Mark's premature celebration inside his head earlier.

"No.", Jaebum says it with a finality that left no crack for even a slight argument.

"Why?", Mark stands from his sitting position, opted to leans against his car. Gaining a bit of higher position, unconsciously starting a power play that of course get caught easily by Jaebum. The later gets up from the saddle, walking a slow step towards Mark.

_One step._

"If we are going to meet like this every time, why don't we shred the hassle of commuting and fucked each other instead?"

 _The nerves of him._ Steering the earlier conversation which completely on a safe ground into an area that Jaebum knows he would gain an upper hand.

Mark looks down and smiles to himself. _The games is really on._ Probably ever since their last week jabs in the elevator. An encounter that stay all week long in Mark's mind and inevitably lead both of them into this situation. _It is a fight and flight situation._ The direction of how his and Jaebum’s future would led is determined by the next move Mark will make in answering Jaebum's question. The attraction is very visible. No need to deny this isn't about that at all. That he decided to stop seeing Jinyoung because of Jaebum has been invading his mind extensively.

He gets two option to this. Both of them would end up with a lot of interesting activities behind a close door. The difference is, _would he be just another warm body in Jaebum's bed or would he be the only warm body in it?_ Mark should play this card very well. Someone like Jaebum is not enough to explore for just a night.

"What makes you think I have even some slight interest at someone like you?"

Mark stares right on to Jaebum's eyes. Watching an excitement begins to light up the dark orbs. Treating Mark's reply as an invitation to win over a challenge. Probably Mark's answer has fed Jaebum’s thirst for a game. _A game of seduction._   A game that Jaebum probably has mastered on since a long time ago. A well fed player like Jaebum would know from experience that Mark's reply is not a completely rejection, but not an agreement either. It is a sign for Jaebum to up his stakes and offer something more which can change the slight no into a complete yes.

"Someone like me?"

Mark purposely stares to the side. The deserted parking area meets his eyes. He is busying himself staring into the dimmed neon light far off the elevator. Someone is waiting in front of it.

"A crude mouth, cocky as hell, go around making baseless assumption,”, Mark locks his gaze with Jaebum for a good measure, before continuing, "yes, someone like you.".

_Two steps._

Jaebum stops right in front of him. Towering Mark from his standing position to Mark's position that still leaning against his car. From this close, Mark could see the smooth span of Jaebum’s skin. A complete porcelain that could easily belong to a model or an actor. A bone structure to die for and a sharp nose very different from his crooked one. Also, from this close, he realizes that the two dots above Jaebum's left eyes, _in fact,_ is not a barbell piercing. A twin moles prettily grazes his left eyelid, as if meticulously drawn for how identical it is. Framing the eyes that currently staring right into his own.

"Do you think, I’ll go around offering myself to any person like this? Wow, you just hurt me, Mark.", Jaebum clutches his left chest with his free hand, mocking hurt that he said Mark just inflicting on him. _It is too close. Too damn close._ He could practically smell Jaebum's earthy cologne from this space. His brain is fogging up as the temperature on his body also rising.

"I wouldn't be surprised.”, is a lame ass reply he could think of. Mark gets lost inside Jaebum's eyes. He could never find the bottom even if he spends his lifetime staring right into it. A rich color is presented in behind the black orbs. A million of possibilities swirling around the glazy eyes. He is drawn by the inviting stare, but ended up captivated by the promise it is presented. Mark wants to stare at this eyes forever. Finding a solace and acceptance he never knew he needed before.

"I see your fire, Mark. Even if you try so hard to tame it down, I can sense a firecracker from some miles down. And you are one, I just haven't had a chance to unleash that side of yours yet."

 _Jaebum really did see through him._ It is not his imagination. Mark already can sense the last of his reluctant crumbling down from the impact of Jaebum's statement. _If with minimal contact like this, he could figure Mark easily. Will Jaebum be able to dig the version of Mark that had been long buried and gives a new life to it? Will Jaebum be able to shred down the cage he adamantly build to sabotage himself?_

"What if I don't want it to be unleashed? Have you considered the possibility?"

He couldn't help but ask. Testing how far Jaebum willing to dip into this game for him. If Jaebum deems Mark worthy enough to finish the games till the end line. Not leaving him high and dry with a first possible hurdle ahead of them.

_Three steps._

The space between them is now nonexistent. Only a centimeter and their height difference spurting from the different of their stance, are separating them. Mark refuses to show that he is too much infected by their closeness. His inner self urges him to stand up straight from his leaning position. So he could see Jaebum on a rather similar level than now, when he is practically only seeing the broad expanse of Jaebum chest and should looks up too much from his position to be able looking back at Jaebum's eyes. His nape is starting to hurt, from how high he holds his chin up for maintaining the eye contact.

And no one escapes from Jaebum's eyes. He notices the awkward position Mark is in and proceeds to lean down a bit. Bracing both of his hand into the either side of Mark. Effectively caging Mark and making their face even closer than before. Mark probably looks funny, with crossed eyes and mouth set in a tight line to bite back a whimper that trying to escape.

Jaebum eyes wild, un-focusing to one spot. Instead searching Mark entire face before settling into his eyes. "One would have no power to tame that fire forever, unless he wants it to burn himself from the inside. And left with the ash residue of his old self. Hollow inside. Is that what you after?"

Just like the voice replaying again and again inside his head. _Hollow inside. Is that what you after, Tuan?_ Mark would think the question is only his imagination if not for a slight crooked of Jaebum's eyebrow urging him to answer the question.

"No."

 _Something change. Something about to change._ Mark can feel it seeping through his bone.

"Then, let it go. Let the fire burn everything around you, but yourself."

The heady feeling from his first encounter with Jaebum is back at him with a full force. The dizziness and lack of breath. _It is too much,_ being told and figured out like this from a very close proximity by a man with very strong presence such as Jaebum. With their attraction swirling around them like an aphrodisiac to his already lighten up body, arousal spreads on him like a fire. A fire from Jaebum and a fire that himself induced from Jaebum. He is suffocating with it. _And the fire supposed to be freeing him, not suffocates him._

"Burn with me instead."

Jaebum leans in. Gives him a breath that Mark obviously needed since two minutes ago. Their lips meet on a language that only can be interpreted by two of them. Understanding, hope, and promise are melded into one as the chapped lips of Jaebum's met with Mark's own. If Mark never meet Jaebum before the kiss, the kiss itself now telling so much about the man. The way he leads the kiss, _but not dominating it._ Coax Mark to play, _but put a break if it starts to threaten his stance._ Exploring _, but not overbearing. Sometimes rough and punishing,_ but rewarding him with a kitten licks and nibble bites to thank for the understanding.

Mark melts into the kiss. The man sure knows what he is doing. His free hand is cuping Mark face, and trailing downward as the kiss deepen. The hand is currently resting on the small of Mark's back, preventing Mark from bending back too much by the pressure from Jaebum’s body in front of him. Patient probably not a force of Jaebum. He grows restless against Mark lips, slotting his lips more insistently. The hand on Mark's back is moving further south and in no time creeping in between Mark's ass with the car door. With one painfully bite into his lower lips, Jaebum grabs Mark's ass so their bodies completely aligned with each other. Mark moans at the feeling of Jaebum's apparent arousal against his own crotch, which Jaebum interprets as an invitation for more. He kisses Mark harder and starts to grind his hip against Mark.

Mark shoves Jaebum hard at this. The later stumbles backward, completely out of guard. A loud bang from where the helmet hits the ground resounding at the empty basement. Jaebum looks at him with a bewildered eyes. No doubt, annoyed and angry at the rejection. They are standing still, throwing daggers at each other in silence. Only a ragged breathing is heard from both of them.

Mark is not having a second thought, _no._ _Hell,_ the kiss is easily one of the best he ever experienced. He wants to throw himself again and be kissed senseless like that for a lifetime. But, for a second there, something crosses his mind. _He feels so easy._ Just a drop of several beautiful sentences from Jaebum, he almost begs Jaebum to fuck him right there and then. _Not that he didn't want it._ But, as he said before. _He needs to play this card right._ With how Mark seems to be so damn easy just minutes ago, no doubt Jaebum wouldn't give him a time of the day after he gets what he is after. Probably, Jaebum is even getting fed up with how many people ready on his beck and call on a daily basis. Mark is not about to be treated the same. He wants something bigger. _He wants Jaebum to remember him._

For a good measure, Mark wipes his lips with the back of his hand. Low-key insulting Jaebum's kiss from before. The gesture proves to have the impact he needs, judging by how Jaebum's eyes has gotten so much darker after Mark puts his hand back down. Intense eyes observes his every movement.

"Are they all fall for this?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your smooth words. Your sexy Harley, and manly truck. Along with your crude mouth and overbearing needs to always be obeyed?", his harsh words meet with a furrowed eyebrow, "If it is all you have to get inside the pants of your past conquest, safe it, Jaebum. It will not work on me."

Without a second glance, Mark walks on a fast pace to the elevator he eyed earlier. A cursed resounding from behind him, then a sound of some kicking, followed with a loud bang. _It is fun right Jaebum, until you don't get what you want?_ Mark smirks to himself. Hoping his calculated move is working in favor of him.

5 more steps into the elevator, he slows down his walk. He thinks he left enough tales for Jaebum to replay on the following weeks. He mentally dances to his slight winning this morning. The feeling of self-satisfaction comes back to him like an old friend. He wants to pat himself on the back for his achievement today.

**_"DING~"._ **

In time with the metal door opening, there is a rush of something approaching him. Knock himself forward and rotate his body so fast, Mark gets a slight head rush from it. His back meets the cold mirror inside the elevator. He could see the fright on his eyes from the mirror at the opposite side. His pale face. And, the broad of Jaebum shoulder.

Jaebum looks furious. _And feel furious._ His usually calm and collected eyes looks wild. Searching Mark face, no doubt to know what causing the sudden change of mind in Mark's part. Mark attempts to break free. Only for Jaebum to held him tighter. Both of Mark's hand held to the back with one of Jaebum's own. Another hand holds the beginning of Mark jawline loosely. His face is angled upward to meet Jaebum's eyes. Mark is stubbornly looking to the side. Refusing to meet Jaebum's eyes.

"Can't you see it, Mark?", Jaebum shakes his hand a bit, demanding Mark's attention on him. The grip in his jaw tighten infinitesimally.

"See what?", Mart struggles harder. And Jaebum held tighter. If he is aroused from Jaebum's kiss, now he could feel himself fully hard inside his pants from the way Jaebum manhandling him. Mark is so screwed. He is both wanting to throw himself into Jaebum, and trying so hard to hold himself back from doing just that.

 _"This.",_ Jaebum moves his hand from Mark's jaw. _"Attraction.",_ He gives Mark's jaw a kitten lick and butterfly kisses all over. Mark tenses, trying so hard to hold in his groan. _"Between.",_ Jaebum kisses the corner of his mouth, nibbling his bottom lips with a playful bite. _"Us.",_ with one last look towards Mark half-lidded one, Jaebum dives in for his lips.

The kiss is so different from their first one. _The first one_ was meant to coax, to offer a possibility, to give an imagination that they could be great together. _This kiss,_ is meant to possess, to show how good they could burnt together, _to tell Mark that he had no room to back off after starting this games_. Despite responding to the kiss, Mark is still rebelling. He trashes around on Jaebum's hand. Want to feel, the anger, the frustration, which will surely bring Jaebum to hold him down even tighter. He needs to feel the pressure, _to feel that he is owned._ Jaebum presses him further against the mirror. His other hand sneaks below Mark's knitted pull-over, searching the skin and settling over top of the pants on his waist. Gripping the flesh there hardly, in a particular bite from Mark to his tongue. Catching Jaebum out of guard.

Mark uses the momentum to shove Jaebum backward while still kissing him. Pinning Jaebum with his own body against the mirror wall. Now free to use his hand, Mark brings it to cradle Jaebum's hair. Pulling his head even closer, earning a low groan from Jaebum.

Mark opens his eyes, wanting to see how much he is affecting Jaebum. He is surprised to see Jaebum looks back at him. Eyes completely dark with wants, cheeks flush with arousal. Mark bites Jaebum's bottom lips before suckling it. He feels some rough skin on the inner side of the bottom lip. _Like a scar?_ He pulls it to opposite side of Jaebum's direction. Sensing something black amidst all the pink, before letting it go.

 _Something is very, **very,** wrong._ His gut is churning at a _very_ twisted possibility. His arousal dies down so quick. _It wouldn't be, would it? Of all person. Of millions people in Seoul._

Jaebum looks at him. Fondness replacing the sheer anger, Mark witnessed earlier. Probably misinterpret Mark’s silence as an injury time to take a breathing. His hand shoots forward to wipe at the wetness of Mark's bottom lips. A smile about to blown on his face. Red hair messy, totally fuck-able.

 _Is it really him? No way!_ Mark screams on his head. _Out of all people. Out of all possible man. Cannot be him, right?_

"You have a tattoo inside of your mouth?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"What does it say?"

"DEF. You want to see it?"

"Do you perhaps know any Jackson? Jackson Wang?"

"Is he your friend?"

"What it is to you?"

"Shit."

 

 

_###_

 

 

 

_'He is no one to me that you should concern about.'_

Jaebum's word from this morning replaying on his mind like a broken record. It is so amazing, how different Jaebum's look about his and Jackson relationship with what Mark heard couple weeks before directly from Jackson himself.

True to what his first impression about Jaebum, it is, indeed, very easy for Jaebum to use someone at his disposal. Regrettably enough, one of the many someone is being Jackson. Among lots of thing inside this man, upon hearing the confirmation, one which stuck up the most is, _poor Jackson for meeting yet another wrong person._

The sentence is also a form of sign that his decision to not easily succumb to the fire Jaebum possessed was a right move after all. _Not in a million year,_ he would allowed himself to just another _"no one you should concern about"_ on Jaebum extensive list.

Mark doesn't know where the sudden aggression coming from. But, his mind is telling him that he could achieve something with Jaebum. Looking at the bottomless of Jaebum's small eyes, he feels something other than apparent lust and suffocating attraction swirling inside it. _He almost can sense..._ regret and nostalgia whenever Jaebum bores his eyes to Mark's own.

 _There is something more to this._ Above all the physical attraction. And, Mark needs more time to figure it out. A time that he will not obtain if he simply surrenders himself to be burnt within Jaebum's fire. _Too easy. Jaebum will not like easy._

Mark already sets aside the hurdle in his part, which is Jinyoung. And now, out of nowhere and never really crossed his mind, that there will be another hurdle he needs to think about. Also, it somehow comes from himself. Although the problem comes through Jaebum's side.  From all people in Seoul, Jaebum must be the one who is making his best friend's content smile back onto his face after so long. Mark probably burned a city on his previous life. Now, the karma is catching up to him. _Just when he found someone that gives him a hope._ A slight chance that he be able to bring his old self alive and installed it back to the now Mark.

True that it is not the first time, Mark and Jackson have a similar fuck-buddies or even a love interest. Somehow, _Jaebum is different._ Back then, the people they were 'sharing' had no deeper role in their life to make them fighting over it. _Casual._ But, Jaebum. Sure, probably both of them has no romantic feeling for Jaebum at this moment. _Yet._ With how intense things progressed in each Mark  & Jackson side, it is just a matter of time both of them fall for Jaebum. _For and with different reason._

Even now. When the impending romantic feeling has not involved yet, Jaebum already planted his root on both Jackson and Mark mind. Each of them, already attached at some level to Jaebum. Jaebum has a certain role in both Jackson and Mark life. Although, begrudgingly, Mark admits that as of now, Jackson already emotionally connected to Jaebum on a deeper level. While Mark still plays with a possibility and a what-ifs.

 _Should he let Jaebum go for Jackson's sake?_ Reminiscing his last visit to Jackson's place, it was still warming his inside how his friend seems very content after so long. Mark wants that too, _just for once in his lifetime._ Unlike Mark, Jackson already felt that feeling once before. Seeing now he met another one that could take him back to the serene place, _safe to say that Jackson will be able to find another one again, right?_ He remembered Jackson telling him that he will absolutely not taking the things going on to his heart. Mark could only hope Jackson really meant it.

 _Mark is simple man, but he is also an ambitious one._ Not that he doesn't want his friend to be happy, but he has his own need. _Besides, the circumstance seems to be in his favor._ Jackson might be half-way in love with Jaebum, but _are Jaebum reciprocating?_ Feel the same way beyond the need to fulfill his role as Jackson's care taker for this time being? _Apparently not._

 _Over confident are you, Tuan?_ You probably would say that. But, remember, _Mark is a simple man._ Also much earlier, he already said that a lot of his friends considers he got too much testosterone on his blood which in turn makes him a very logical being. Jaebum wouldn't say Jackson is no one to him with a full-knowledge that Mark is Jackson's friend. That Mark could easily reciting his statement to Jackson. Reading behind the cold dismissal from Jaebum's part, Mark regards this as Jaebum way of saying that Mark holds more importance in Jaebum's mind for him to insult Mark's friend as _"no one"_ in front of Mark himself.

This is the part that makes his mind replaying the whole sentence over and over again while laying lazily in his couch all day long. Because, _he doesn't know how to feel about this._ Part of him is happy that Jaebum cared enough about him to re-declare that Mark had no competition by saying that he shouldn't be concerned about Jackson. Part of him is anxious whether his friend knows this fact for himself, that he is no one to Jaebum. Come with that, an anxiety seeping through him. _Should he tell Jackson about this?_

Behind all that, there is a part of himself which also afraid _. Will Jaebum tell that line to Jackson too, or any other his conquest, if they ask Jaebum who Mark is to him? Will he discard Mark as "no one that you should be concerned about" too?_

He needs to play this card right.

_###_


	5. Chapter 5

_5th_

Not meeting Jinyoung for a while means Mark got a free weekend on his end. Also, having a Jackson-related concern means Mark couldn't spend that free weekend to go bother his friend away. Not that Mark will spend it with Jackson anyway, because Jackson is now back in Hongkong for a visit to his family.

Out of option, he decides to walk around the neighborhood. Probably walking Coco to the park nearby. Even a grocery shopping. He did all that and it is barely 9PM on a Saturday night. For the first time in a while, Mark felt how long the weekend could stretch out if you spend it alone.

When he arrived back to his building after spending some time in the patisserie he frequents to, he walks past the receptionist to find Youngjae already sit there replacing Mina for the night. Been so long since he speaks to Youngjae. Knowing the later always carries around a sunshine smile and positive energy around him, Mark irks to go there and absorbs the positivity for himself. _God knows how much he needs it._ Besides, Coco already barking happily at the sight of Youngjae waving around at him.

The thing is, as cheesy as it sound, Coco brought Mark & Youngjae closer. Youngjae always fond of animal but having a sever allergy stops him from his desire to own a pet. So, when Mark brought home Coco a little over a year ago, Youngjae low-key adopted himself as Coco’s mother. If Jackson isn't around to take care of Coco whenever Mark went to Jinyoung's place, Youngjae is the next best thing Mark could left Coco to.

Mark lets Coco down from his arm and unleashes the slash she is attached to. Soon enough, the white Maltese already running towards Youngjae's embrace. _Happiness such a simple thing,_ like seeing some heartwarming scene of Coco licking around Youngjae's grinning face _. Why he is not fallen for Youngjae instead,_ his life would be so much easy. **_Wait,_** _did he just say fallen for. Screw. Totally screwed._

Amidst of pleasant conversation and hearty small laugh here there, time moves so fast. Unknowingly, it is already 11PM from the big clock stationed on the wall behind Youngjae's desk. Two hours since he came from outside, still reeking a sun smell from his walk and wearing a bright yellow hoodie with a printed doughnut on it. He is starting to relax. Clearly Youngjae's positive energy rubbed off to him.

In a particular hard laugh that showing off all his teeth and even making him tear up a bit, Youngjae's attention shifts from him. Only to look impossibly brighter than he already is while greeting a newcomer behind Mark. On which Mark has no idea already there. Thanks to a very ridiculous story Youngjae just telling him about.

"Oh, hi Jaebum-hyung!"

"Yah! Youngjae-ah! I could hear your laugh from the drop off area!"

_Don't look back, Mark. **Don't look back.**_

Youngjae pouts a bit at the teasing. And Mark still chanting on his head to not look back. Even with a really heavy feeling being watched is surrounding him from behind. He must stand his ground. Pretending the presence doesn't affect him at all, he continues to laugh heartily.

 _Until..._ The certain someone leans on the receptionist desk beside him. Positioning himself sideways and watching Mark laugh. In front of him, Youngjae continues jutting his bottom lips out. Too adorable for the world. He playfully hits Jaebum’s arm with Coco front legs.

"Don't be meanie Hyung! I do not laugh that hard. It is Mark Hyung here who laughed so hard."

Mark's artificial laugh eventually needs to die down for his mask to be not awkwardly exposed by the person beside him. He pretends to wipe the corner of his eyes in order to mask a much needed injured time Schooling his expression before he is ready to face Jaebum head on.

He puts on a smile and let his head rotates to the right. Slightly crooking his head to the side as if to challenge Jaebum of how he would handle their meeting this time. The first meeting with someone other than two of them.

"Fancy meeting you here at this time of the day, Mark."

Mark is nodding to this, and a slight humming under his breath. Not offering any more response. He forces himself to bring his focus back to Coco who is still playing around with Youngjae as chaperone. The man beside him is still standing there, observes the whole scene playing in front of him.

 _5 minutes pass._ Jaebum is still there. Mark pays him no mind and continues plays with Coco.

 _10 minutes pass._ Jaebum is still as present as ever. Youngjae starts to look nervously between Jaebum and Mark.

 _15 minutes pass._ Jaebum is as still as statue but his mere presence sent Mark stomach churning with a thousand butterfly fly around it. Not to mention the heaviness of Jaebum gaze, he could feel it heating up the side of his face. Youngjae still looks back and forth between both of them. Leaving Mark playing with Coco alone.

It is obvious the game Jaebum play. He demands Mark attention. He probably will stay there till he gets the attention he demands from Mark. It is a bit childish if you look at it closer. But, nothing childish if it is played by a man like Jaebum. He demands attention, and he is going to get it. And that is the exact reason why Mark ignoring him right not. Jaebum needs to learn that, he is not entitled to everything just because he demands it. _We don't always get what we want after all._

Thirty minutes of trying so hard to ignore the obvious tension around him was probably Youngjae’s limit to handle this current situation. The poor boy looks so nervous when he announced that he is going to the restroom for a bit. Leaving a still overexcited Coco back to Mark's arm and also leaving Mark with Jaebum alone.

Surprising himself that he could held back himself this long, Mark deems he now in a slight upper hand position for making Jaebum standing there out of his own stubbornness. Petting a restless Coco on his arm, Mark props himself to his side. Finally giving Jaebum some attention he demands from 30 minutes ago.

Instead of a fuming dark orbs, he meets with a calm gaze on Jaebum eyes. As if saying, he got all the time and patience in the world to string along with whatever antics Mark decided to spring on him that day. Mark doesn't let a disappointment washed over him for Jaebum lack of reaction after being stood up quite some times.

He gives Jaebum a once over. Noting yet another style, Jaebum is sporting right now. He goes from Jaebum's white golf shoes, to the bare skin with a manly hair slathering Jaebum's calf, to a light weight grey short pants, which Jaebum tucked his white muscle shirt into, to the beach themed safari printed shirt with a short sleeves that showcase a rather mouthwatering biceps of the man wearing. A biceps that currently covered by a beginning of some red scratch scar. _Really fresh red welts adoring a side of Jaebum’s arm._

For a fraction of time, Mark stiffen. Hand stilling from petting Coco, before he picks up himself and stares back into Jaebum's eyes. _If Jackson is now in Hongkong, whose scratch is that?_ Dread fill his gut.

"So, there is more to you than meets the eyes, Mark Tuan."

A beginning to some smile is resounding from the lilt in Jaebum's voice when saying this. He would have swoon in normal condition, but the fresh scratch is the only thing occupied his mind. _Is Jaebum seeing more than a lover at a time?_

Mark offers him another smile. Which prompted Jaebum to give one himself. With a pointed look to his fresh scar, Mark replies using a smoothest voice he could musters. Never losing smile while at it, "Same goes to you, Jaebum."

Of course Jaebum notices this. From the way his eyes darken and his smile fading away, he is more than noticing it. Eyes regains back its darkness which is a more familiar ground for Mark to play with.

He attaches the slash back to Coco and let himself dragged away by his dog. From the corner of his eyes, he notices Jaebum stand still for about a minute before walk away to the elevator direction.

Another voice speaks to him. Apparently Youngjae is back from his restroom runaway. "How do you two know each other, Hyung? I've never seen Jaebum-hyung speak to anyone but me for as long as I am working here."

Curiosity lacing in the sweet voice of Youngjae. Mark cradles Coco back into his arms. He walks back to Youngjae’s desk. His poor sunshine seems quite shaken up by the earlier scene. Mark wants nothing but comforting this sweet _Dongsaeng_ of him. He drops Coco back into Youngjae desk and ruffles Youngjae’s hair a bit before propping his arm on his own chin. Leaning into the high part of the receptionist desk. He ponders how much information would he spill to Youngjae.

“As far as I know, Hyung works as an accountant, and Jaebum-Hyung works in music. I don’t think both of you are an acquaintance from work.”

Mark blinks at this. _A very new information of Jaebum._ Blinking twice, Mark then realizes, probably Youngjae knows much more about Jaebum than himself. Mark doesn’t even know Jaebum’s last name. Something ridiculous considering that he already kissing the man and even so far planning to snatch the man from his own best friend.

“Music? He is in a band or something?”

 _Jaebum in a rock band_. It would explain all the piercing and laidback personality. _But surely a mere rock star that Mark doesn’t even recognize at first glance wouldn’t be rich enough to afford a penthouse in this apartment, would him?_

At Mark’s suspicious start to some interrogation, Youngjae lifts his head to look directly at Mark. Mark meets his gaze straight on. Pretending to ask out of simple curiosity, trying not to show off as a very eager information seeker.

“Does he not telling you? Or you doesn’t know who he is right from the start, Hyung?”

Mark shrugs, “I don’t know him that much, if not at all,”, _he is not lying at this one,_ “I just know that his name is Jaebum, live at the top floor penthouse, and own a Harley which always parked right beside my parking spot in Basement 1.”, _he also not lying about these too._ Sadly, he almost let out all that he knows about Jaebum. _Except for one. The fact that he is a very good kisser._ He almost snorts at this. _What a very important information, Tuan!_

“Oh, I supposed. He could very closed off if he wants to be. I took me almost six months before he even smiles back at me.”, Youngjae lets out a light chuckle. Mark could relate, although for him it is quite the opposite.

“Well, so he is a vocalist?” Mark urges.

“He is a composer, Hyung. Under the name of Def Soul. If you like an R&B & Soul kind of music, you will recognize him. I was very surprise when learning about this, because I’ve been following his SoundCloud and buying his mix tapes since forever.” The excitement very apparent on Youngjae.

 _A composer. Wow._ Never in million year would Mark guess Jaebum’s job as a composer. After pegging the man as a high-class prostitute, sugar baby, _even drug dealer_ , a composer sounds completely in a different world altogether. “Could have fooled me, I thought he is a model or at least working in entertainment industry from how well he dressed.”

“He used to be a high-fashion photo model too, Hyung. Sometimes still does it on the side if his acquaintance asked him to. As far as I know.”

 _A high fashion photo model._ Now, it is close to the Jaebum's image which Mark associated him with. Also, it is explaining how Jaebum met Jackson through Bambam. Unbeknownst to him, Youngjae silently observes Mark during all this. "Why Hyung? You have an interest on Jaebum Hyung?"

"I just curious, that’s all."

"I might look kind of innocent to you, but even a naive person could smell a sexual tension between you two from a mile long distance."

 _That obvious?_ Mark baffles. Schooling his expression into a neutral one. _Even Youngjae noticed it._ No wonder Mark feels overwhelmed inside himself if people from the outside could even smell the burn between him and Jaebum. "No, Jae. You don't look kinda innocent, but you are a total innocent.” Mark grins at the pout forming in Youngjae's lips.

"I need to shower in a bit. If I left Coco here, is that okay with you?"

"No problem, Hyung!"

A lighter step takes him to the elevator. He absorbs his new found information into his mind. Engraved them into placate with Jaebum name on it. _A composer, a high-fashion model. Generally a person who works with art._ Mark couldn't belief how such a basic info as jobs managed to explain so much about someone. _Well in Jaebum case, it is helping._ The laid back and the fuck-off-world-I-don’t-need-your-judgment trait.

He cannot say the same about his job. Rather than the job explains him _, his own job defines himself instead._ Changing Mark to fit into the category it represents. And he has let himself adjusting to fit inside the stereotype. _An accountant = quiet = boring = lame = nerd._ When he was nothing but. Except probably the quiet characteristic. _Hey, but he is capable of being a loud person inside his own people._ So, it is not counted.

 ** _"DING~"._** Level 25, his floor. He should be showering fast. He needs to bring back Coco to not bothering Youngjae much. As soon as the door opens, he steps out of it. Attempts to make it quick to his door.

A hand grabs him from the side. And next thing he knows, he is on the emergency stairs located beside the elevator. With a very distraught Jaebum blocking the exit door. _How long has Jaebum been waiting there?_

Mark's breath is irregular. His nerves shoots up after being so terribly surprise from Jaebum's ambush. His breath is loud enough to be heard as a pant echoing all around the dimly lit stairs. He stares at Jaebum, daring him to explain what all of this about.

"Why can't you leave me alone, Jaebum?", Mark grits his teeth, trying to calm himself down. This move of Jaebum is completely thrown him out of guard. He never expects Jaebum to go out of his way, still stubborn enough to demand attention from Mark. Which Mark denied earlier. When Mark thinks Jaebum’s retreat means he declared a defeat, _just how wrong he could be._ This is Jaebum after all. His strong determination is as big as Mark's stubbornness.

Jaebum inhales slowly, he takes a step closer in Mark direction. The strong force of his presence knocks back Mark a step behind. _Why do I feel like I’ve been preyed?_ The quietness of the space is deafening. With only his own ragged breathing keeping his sanity company.

"Is it because of Jackson? I already said I _don't like_ to be ignored Mark. Wasn't it _clear enough_ for you?", Jaebum speaks slowly. Deliberately choosing his word by word. Emphasizing some part that needed to put more attention to. A tenor voice speaking so calmly, almost like a whisper. But, Mark is not fooled. Each words laced with so much emotion. The lower his tone is, not a sign to uncertainty, not in Jaebum's case. The softer the voice he lets out only could means one thing. It is a sign to how much he repressed himself to not blowing up his emotion to the surface. _It is scary. How such a beautiful voice could carry so much threat behind it._

Jaebum takes another step closer. Which prompts Mark to retreat one step back. His back knocks into the hand rail, and it makes him lose his balance. He is just a second before falling down the stair behind him. Jaebum grips his upper arm in time. Using the momentum to bring Mark to his chest. Away from the edge of stair, Mark unknowingly retreated to. Mark arms bracing himself on Jaebum's chest, stunned at the accident he almost experienced.

 _Blood rushing in his ear, adrenaline still shoot high on the stream._ Knees buckling with how he almost incapacitated himself by falling off to the stair behind him. Jaebum's grip him tighter situating Mark so he could leans his forehead on Jaebum's shoulder. _Mark is defeated. He is weak in front of this man._ He wants to be annoyed because thanks to Jaebum he was cornered like before. At the same times, he wants to pepper the man with kisses as a thank you for saving him from what might be a terrible accident. _He is so tired of this all. This constant dualism of reaction popped up inside his mind for everything Jaebum did._

Jaebum keeps still, the only contact he gets with Mark is the hand which grip Mark's upper hand and his shoulder with Mark's forehead.

"What do you want from me, Jaebum?” Mark mumbles into Jaebum's shoulder. Thankful from the comfort he offers.

 _And probably it is too early for me to be thankful._ Because the next thing he knows, Jaebum other hand grips Mark's waist to bring both their body aligned together. _Chest to chest. Crotch to crotch._ He whispers into Mark's ear, _"I want to fuck you, baby, is it a hard concept for you to understand?”_

Anger rising to his brain, the adrenaline prompts him to muster a courage to do the next thing while Jaebum playfully nibbling along his ears. Amidst the shiver and the pleasure his traitor of a body can't help but liking the treatment, Mark shoves Jaebum back and slaps him hard. The sound echoes in the silence of the emergency stairs. _That feels so good._

"I already told you that your crude mouth won't give you a license to my pants. Stop talking like that to me. You want to fuck me? Fine! I'll tell you what?" Mark takes a step closer. Jaebum is looking at him with a jutted jaw which he moves from side to side, a white knuckles on either side of his hand, body tensed ready for a fight.

Mark points one of his finger at Jaebum and jabs at his chest hard. "You", _jabs,_ "have", _jabs,_ "to earn", _jabs,_ "it.", _jabs._ He twists his fingers several times for a good measure. Eyes never leaving Jaebum. His fire lit bigger than ever. "You have to earn me," he pushes his finger deeper, "I am not Jackson. I will not bow down to your command. You will not seeing me kneel down at the very first letter from your mouth. Stop categorizing me into similar slot as everyone you've fucked before, I am me ** _. I am Mark._** Do you even know the difference, or all you are seeing is, everybody similar but you?", he shoves Jaebum once again, inching his face closer to the later ears, and whispering a harsh, _"It is the simple concept that you are still not understand, Jaebummie."_

He is about to remove his hand from Jaebum's chest and turn around heading for the door, when the later hand forcefully removes Mark's hand from his current location. Mark tenses, trying to break free from the hard grip Jaebum has on his closed fist. But, Jaebum is bigger than him. _Which translate into, stronger than him._ Jaebum brings their joined hand to his mouth, and kisses Mark closed fist. _The eyes. The fire. Captivating Mark._ That is odd. He doesn't see an anger and a seething fire of fallen pride ignites in Jaebum’s gaze. Instead, he finds a somehow _proud..._ stare boring from Jaebum's eyes into his own. _Proud? Proud of what?_

"That is the last time you'll be allowed to lay your hand on me, Mark. Next time I will not be so forgiving. But, if it takes you to slap me **_first_** , so I can see the little firecracker comes alive, **_be it._** "

Mark gasps. He could sense the chapped lips of Jaebum against his knuckles. _Jaebum is right. He comes alive. Hell, he feels alive._ He feels his volcano of emotion thrumming below his skin. He feels his body alight with an overwhelming anger he just unleashed towards Jaebum. _His emotion, something he repressed without a second thought for almost 8 years._ His emotion that he hides from the world _. That almost made him a hollow shell of breathing man instead of a living human._ He just explodes, he just let his fire doing damage to his surrounding but himself.

Stunned with the realization, Mark's hand goes limps in Jaebum grips. Jaebum uses the weak moment on Mark’s part to intertwine their hands together, squeezing Mark's hand when their finger completely interlaced with one another.

 _The eyes. **The fire.**_ Dancing behind the dark orbs of this man in front of him. There is excitement. There is confident. _There is…_ relieved lacing through the intense stare. Mark cannot stop looking at it. Looking at the festive of emotion currently held inside Jaebum’s bottomless one. _The eyes is alive._ The eyes is telling him so much and too much at the same time. _Is this how his own eyes looked like when he slapped Jaebum earlier? His fire bigger than ever?_

"I see myself in you Mark. My old self. Your eyes. A died down version to some big fire it was once. Someone strung so tight, trying hard to fit into how his surrounding is. Too be afraid to be the one that different. _Adjusting himself thin,_ until he doesn’t know which one is him the real self and which one is him that society expect him to be. Putting yourself into a box and at the same time, putting your fire into a vacuum box. _It dies down eventually_."

 _The eyes. **The fire.** The compassion._ Mark cannot look away. The emotion which is swirling through Jaebum’s eyes captivating him. A soft spoken words held so much confession that for so long already nagging his conscience at the back of his mind. _Adjusting. Yeah, that’s all he did for almost eight long years he lived in Seoul._ Eastern culture upholds so highly, he didn’t have a room to move. _To breath._ He, who born and grew up in LA, completes with all thing frat house, weeds, pots, getting drunk out of his assess, _even an orgy or two._ To say he was having a cultural shock when moving here, is such an understatement. _Hell, he knows that here also have its own underground and night activity._ But, it just different. _Because, you have to hide it from who you are in front of the society. To separate that part of yourself._ From your day to day job. From your colleague, from your neighbor. To maintain your clean reputation. To not tarnish it with your wild side. _When it is as much part of yourself as well. A part that also define who you really are._ **_The real you._** Probably, Mark choose a wrong job. Probably, he should have been a DJ or a stripper or some shady jobs that could accommodate his prefered lifestyle. _Probably, moving here was a mistake._

“Aren’t you tired of living yourself adjusting to people expectation? People that _can’t accept_ you as it is? Don’t let that kind of people _defines who you are_ , Mark. I know a person I met several weeks ago is not you. The person who choose to run and keep silent from a slight bump in the road. _That’s not who you are Mark._ ”

 _The eyes **. The fire.**_ The truth that showed behind Jaebum’s eyes and delivered by his carefully chosen words. _How easy it is to be drown in the depth._ How easy it is for this man figuring Mark right from the bat. How easy it is for Jaebum voicing out all Mark’s fear, insecurities, and concern that he’s been carefully buried under layer and _layer_ of smoke from the died down fire inside of him.

Mark’s hand goes slacked in Jaebum. Both their interlaced hand is falling below, placing in the space between both of them. Jaebum looks at where his and Mark hand currently joined. Squeezing once, before tugging it slightly into his direction. Making Mark takes one small step forward from the impact. They are standing so close now, but not as close as before Mark slapping this man in front of him.

“You asked me, what do I want from you?”, Jaebum is still looking at their joined hand. Denying Mark to stare back into his eyes. Mark keeps looking at his face, willing the man to look at him again. To induce him with the fire burning up inside the later eyes. Slowly, Jaebum brings up his eyes into Mark level. His thumb is making a circle on the base of Mark’s own. When Jaebum’s eyes finally locking back to him, the fire is not lit as big as before. _But, there is something else added in there._ “Here. Let me ignites the fire back to your eyes. _I want to._ ” Jaebum says it so softly, it almost like only a figment of Mark’s imagination.

 ** _Wants._** _It is the additional emotion which is not there before._ The wants seems adding more color into the already bright fire. Adding another notch of intensity into it. **_Red._** _The fire now is the color of red._ Red likes his Ferrari. Red likes Jaebum’s designer suit.

_Red likes the fresh scratch on Jaebum’s upper hand._

_A scratch that is not from Jackson._

There is coldness seeping through his back. _The realization of he doesn’t have a clue which one the real Jaebum is._ The smooth talking man which currently holding his hand now. Or the crude talking ass he just slapped before. Or the flirty man with a pretty smile from their second encounter in elevator. Or the one who could taking his best friend into his very appreciated serene place _while apparently still_ getting scratch from another person on the side. **_Which one?_**

If Jaebum noticed something changing in the way Mark looking at him, he doesn’t say anything. He absolutely aware about the change in mood when his eyes searching all over Mark’s face. Whatever he saw there is making Jaebum let their interlaced finger break free.

Free. Mark is heading to the emergency door. Leaving Jaebum and all thing associated with him behind the close door. _Hoping it stays there for a while._ In the meantime, he got some thinking to do and a friend to confess to.

_Run, baby, run! When you still have the chance. Because after this, I am gonna catch you and you will never run from me again. We gonna burn in the fire festive we ignite together._

_###_


	6. Chapter 6

_6th_

_Jaebum._ The only thing occupied Mark’s mind for the rest of weekend and the better part of this week. Ever since meeting him, a lot of thing that usually crossed his mind in random way has been pushed away. The thought of Jaebum and all things that associated with the man have been dominating the better and bigger part of Mark’s mind. _Even at works._ A place that he always been able losing his mind into. Facing numbers and charts always take out his mind from any complicated situation he has been suffering outside. Mark always pride himself to be an achiever type. Always proactive and doing each one of his assignment using his full capacity. Always earning an _A+_ for monthly progress evaluation from his supervisor.

However for this past couple weeks, his supervisor already warned him twice about the apparent down-falling quality of his work pace and work load. He fell behind the schedule and submitted his report past deadline. All thanks to a certain man that invading the bigger part of his mind. _Jaebum._

 _Day time,_ Mark spends daydreaming over the man. _Night time,_ Mark spends having a wet dream about the man. Waking up in wee hour of the night, he sometimes stares at his ceiling. Looking at his reflection from the mirrored ceiling of his bedrooms. Replaying every encounter he had so far with Jaebum. Remembering every words, reminiscing every touch. _And rewinding every kiss._

Everything seems so fast-paced. He was barely catching up his breath and regaining his footing, before the next encounter came to knock him backward even further. _Is it something more than lust?_ He doesn’t really know the answer. Regardless, he senses something _more than_ a round or weeks of sweaty-sex that he could extract from his possible future with Jaebum. He will _be able_ being himself. _I will finally be free._

 _Is it selfish of me wanting to keep Jaebum for himself? Snatching it from Jackson?_ Yes, he might be. And this exact thought is preventing him to take a hand that has been Jaebum extending to him since weeks ago. _Not to mention, the scratch._ The possibility of many conquest Jaebum is seeing right now. If Mark finally takes the final leap, he wants it to be worth his while. Even if what he will have with Jaebum only last for some moment, he wants to leave a trace. Just how Jaebum already left a trace on his memory, even when the real moment between them has not even begun.

The man sure is a form of enigma. The many faces, the moody emotion. The hot and cold. Jaebum could be seductive. He could be sarcastic, even downward _an ass_ at times. He could be flirty, he could also be sweet. Another thing that scared Mark. He could be the Dom for Jackson, but he also capable to kiss Mark softly like he is the most fragile things in the world. _Which one is the real Jaebum? Is the Jaebum that Mark seeing somewhat different from the Jaebum that Jackson met? Which Jaebum I will get?_

If Mark making a list, the contra would be in form of a very extensive line and line and lines to the reason why being with Jaebum is such a bad idea. Adding to obvious reason above, is the fact that he only knows the man for month and a half. And, it is not like he spend all day every day with him. There is many facet to Jaebum that he still doesn’t know. This aspect actually could be served as a pro too in which he needs to know more of the man in personal level, not from his assumption or from his conclusion seeing the man with another person. _Should I give Jaebum benefit of the doubt?_

Regardless all the negativity, Mark is very aware that there is one reason which making him ready to forfeit all the contra. The _yes_ is already on the tip of his tongue for this one reason only.

 _The fire._ The fire that Jaebum possess. And how it is affecting Mark. How with each encounter, Mark could physically feel the reaction it induced on his own fire. How bit by bit, with each closer Jaebum ministration, _and determination_ to break down Mark’s wall, Mark could feel his box burnt away slowly and after years, _he could finally breathe._ The emotion he repressed, the need to live up to people expectation, the strong force to fit in a box are finally fly away. He could voice out his own opinion, not being afraid how anyone else perceived it, how it possibly make people change their perception of him. _And, it feels very liberating._ That moment in the stairs. The exact moment where he was not only felt that the box caging him was burnt down, but also felt that the fire inside him rebirth slowly.

**_Don't hide it Mark, I know it is there in you._ **

The knowing mind. The encouraging gesture. Jaebum always freely gave it to him. Sure sometimes the way he voiced it out seems too crude for Mark liking, but the bluntness of it probably was the only way to make the message soaked in to the core of Mark being. And also, Mark could not forget of how on several earlier encounter, Jaebum always counter-attack every harsh word came from his own mouth with a simple gesture of sorry. Which somehow always Mark bypass during his emotional state.

**_Let me ignites the fire back to your eyes. I want to._ **

What Mark still can’t figure out is, _what does Jaebum get from all this?_ Why he gone out of his way convincing Mark to stop living his life like this. _Is it because of sex?_ Well, Jaebum could simply seduce him straight away or _wine and dine_ him without even touching the hefty subject that related to the core of Mark’s existence. Why Jaebum willing to jump all the hassle for a night with Mark?

Say the attraction is the answer. Is it deep enough for Jaebum to be willingly discard everyone else to be with Mark? Because, if Mark will take the final leap, it is his only condition. The problem is he doesn’t want Jaebum to think he is a possessive and whiny type. Asking is overrated. If Mark wants it to happen according with his condition, he needs to orchestra it himself.

_He needs to play this card right._

 

 

_###_

 

 

_And yet._

Not even a week after, Mark meets him again. _The unrelenting bastard._ It is the first thing crossed Mark’s mind when he got out of the elevator and found Jaebum leaning against the wall off to the side his apartment door. _What I am gonna do with you, Jaebum?_ All he needs is a bit space. To let his mind battling between his conscience and his logic. And he needs to do that in a neutral zone, where Jaebum’s presence wouldn’t mucking his brain with a promise of what could be between them. Seems _the bastard_ knowing this state too, and with how he even has a bravery to show up _twice_ in his personal space without an invitation, Jaebum starts to look a tad bit too desperate in showcasing his strong determination.

Mark halts his step. Looking ahead to the end of this long hallway. Wanting to know if Jaebum is aware he is not alone here anymore. Waiting in front of someone’s apartment on unassuming Friday evening and still looking like a million-bucks even when he clearly dressed down in grey sweatpants and simple white t-shirt. Face clear of an annoyed aura usually present in a person who has waited for a long time. If any, Jaebum’s face seems too calm. Like he has all the patient in the world and could wait for thousand years if it is necessary. _So different from the man who dry humped me on the basement parking lot._

At the sound of approaching footsteps, Jaebum obviously notices him. He is straightening his posture and repositioning his arm to shove it inside his pants pocket. Jaebum is looking at him. With his stoic face, and sharp eyes. _What is he thinking in that witty brain of his?_ Mark continues to walk, staring straight ahead to his door, but he stops in front of Jaebum. _It is not a time for another run._ He needs to let Jaebum know that his backbone which provoked from the last time he slapped Jaebum is still intact. That this Mark is not the easily flushed and opt _to fly rather than fight_ from their first meeting. If this Mark is what Jaebum want, Mark needs to know it.

Mark rotates his body to Jaebum’s direction. Step once forward, so they only left with an enough space for them to comfortably looking at each other. Mark needs the closeness. He should be able to see Jaebum’s eyes. The glimmer of emotion behind it. The fire that surrounding the soul reflected on the man’s eyes. Mark looks into them, to the bottomless of black orbs. Searching and waiting.

The time is standing still. Neither of them are moving. Jaebum is staring right back at Mark. Eyes still unreadable. The soul is still vacant. Not judging, not observing, and not calculating. _He shields me from his fire._ And that alone is much of punishment for Mark. He craves the eyes that telling him everything, rich with emotion, honest to the finest, and induce a heat to his own fire. But apparently, Jaebum puts up his wall and conceals all thing that Mark unconsciously taken for granted before now. Denied the privileged, now Mark understand. _That Jaebum is just like him._ Hard to let people in. Choose to share what people wants him as. _And all along, every encounter, Jaebum lets Mark dive into his real soul slowly. Let Mark swims and weighs for himself if he likes it enough to continue exploring the depth, or… deem it as too much with how seemingly bottomless abyss Jaebum’s soul represent._ The fire is the indication. The bigger Mark can see the fire means the wider Jaebum opens his door for Mark to see. _And to see the fire is not there… I feel void._ He feels the urge to ignite it back into Jaebum’s eyes. To let the fire getting bigger and bigger. To let himself be burnt with it. _Is this how Jaebum feels about me? Why he wants to ignite my fire? This void I feel when knowing that the eyes once, possess a fiery red fire capable to burn anything into ash on it wakes?_

 _What is he doing here?_ Several minutes ticking by. And still nothing. Only two pairs of eyes looking at each other. The softness of their breathing almost served as a lullaby in the dimly lit hallway. The carpet below Mark’s feet is too thick suddenly. He seems sinking into it bit by bit. There is no battle on their stare. No one asserting power for the other people to look away first. No battle of determination. No stubbornness show down. _They just…_ looking into each other. With eyes that said nothing, but mind surely running a mile per second. Gauging and waiting where this would lead them.

He is not the one who waiting around in front of someone’s personal space. Then, _hell damn,_ he will not be saying anything first. And it has gone for too long. He will not waste away his evening like this. _Mark is simple man, and logical at that._ Seeing Jaebum appears not gonna say anything, Mark moves away from his place and steps aside to the front of his apartment door. From the corner of his eyes, he notices that Jaebum still looking straight ahead.

Mark swipes his thumb into the panel and enters his passcode. He is gripping the antique design of his door handle, when a soft voice speaking to him from the side. “Why you so adamantly fighting off this attraction?” Jaebum at last, is looking at him. _There. The fire._ The fire is back. Albeit a small flicker. But it is there. His own body comes alive. It feels like a junkie getting his fix after days without. 

 _The question._ Mark slowly looks to the side. Looking at the beautiful side profile of Jaebum. The eyes that previously staring ahead, now looking at the lush carpet in front of him. _The question gets to him, and Jaebum knows this._ Because the man slowly smile while still looking at his own feet. _A smile that makes his face look… sad._

Another soft voice calling to him. This time with more force than before. “What are you so afraid of, Mark?”

Mark’s grip on his door handle tighten. He grips it so hard, his hand turns white from the pressure. _What I am so afraid of?_ He knows the answer, but to voice it out loud means he acknowledge it as something that bugging his mind enough. _And I don’t want you to know, Jaebum. While you already could read me as an open book._

“Tell me,” _the sadness intensified, why are you sad Jaebum?_ Mark baffled. _What game he plays now? Sympathy? Empathy? Pity?_ He can’t trust Jaebum easily. He keeps chanting this on his mind until the one word he never thinks would come out from Jaebum’s mouth resounding deep into his soul. “…please.”

 ** _Please._** _Jaebum is saying please to me._ This commanding man with a pride as tall as Everest. _Stunned,_ Mark lets his grip off the door handle. He is eyeing Jaebum warily. Jaebum had said the magic word. He lows his inhibition door for Mark even lower than before. _Just how many things would Jaebum does for him?_

Mark lets the dam broke, voicing out the very things that made him going _back and forth_ on his start line of a possible journey, with Jaebum waiting on the finish point. “I don’t want to be _just another_ Jackson for you, okay? Some side character you easily brushed up his existence by referring him as ‘ _he is no one you should concern about’_ when the _next_ people catching your eyes ask what he is to you. I am so sick of pretending something that I am not for these past years as you so kindly pointed out to me last week. And now when I am deciding it is time for me to stay true to myself, I’m gonna start it with you, with whatever this is going on between us. You have so many faces, I don’t even know which one is real. It scared me. _You_ scared me.”

The shield is gone. A thousand of emotion freely showcased in Jaebum’s eyes. Mark’s confession triggers Jaebum to break down his cautious wall which was shielding him from Mark earlier. A million colors swirling behind the dark orbs. Entwining into one color that he held very dear, _the red._ The honesty is softening the fire scorched that dominating just moment before. The gentleness on his stare, as if a way of Jaebum telling him that he really appreciates Mark’s honesty.

A hand caressing his shoulder, a thumb circling his collar bone. The moment feels so magical, Mark is trapped in the softness of Jaebum’s eyes. Jaebum moves from the wall he’s been propped. He situations himself in front of Mark. Another of his hand grabs Mark’s on his side. Slowly interlacing their finger, _just like the last time._ Another caress on his shoulder, and a murmur, “Don’t be scared, Mark”. It is spoken so tenderly Mark wonders if it is really happening.

The stare softens even more. _Like it is possible._ The gleaming on Jaebum’s eyes interweave with something warm that Mark could feel it seeping through his bone. _It almost feels like…_ a loving stare _._ _The fondness…_ is very apparent _. No, Mark. Don’t go there._

The caress on his shoulder drifts lower to his side, and clasps his lax hand tighter. “Don’t be afraid of us.” And Jaebum leans in.

A sliver of sparkly silver catches Mark eyes, right before their lips meet. Jaebum’s chapped lips feels weird against his own, but they move in a familiar way with each other. The passion includes in every movement of Jaebum’s lips making him gasps. Jaebum maintains their space. Probably learning from his past mistake. That forcing his way onto Mark is not making him go anywhere. _If else, it would only make Mark take a step backward._ As Jaebum licked around his sharp canine, Mark takes the opportunity to bite Jaebum’s lower lip. Which goads the later to squeeze hard their interlacing hand and let out a muffled groan. The sound reverberates through Mark’s entire body. He feels a sudden need to get closer and closer to the man in front of him. To feel how the effect he makes in Jaebum’s thrumming body. He inches them forward step by step until Jaebum’s back hit the wall behind. It is a turn for Mark to explore him. He playfully bit Jaebum’s tongue when it is experimentally licking along his roof, earning another low groan from the later. Mark moves his right hand to the side of Jaebum’s neck. Feeling the hardness of his bicep and the sharpness of his collar bone on the way. He touches something on Jaebum’s neck. Feels like a metal, a chain. _Probably a necklace._

The man is magnificent. His physique. His lips. The way Jaebum pours his soul into the kiss. If his eyes reflecting the red of a fire on it, Jaebum’s kiss is the epitome of blazing fire. Mark is burnt ablaze. How a single soul could contains a passion this big Mark will never understand. Probably, it is only a Jaebum thing. Kissing him, making Mark breathless, emotionally exhausted, and craving to be closer all in one single moment. No matter that Mark who earlier taking their kiss into another notch, it is still Jaebum that directing it. He is taking, _and taking_. And Mark can’t help but giving, _giving his all._ _How could a person affect me this much?_

Mark tenses. His lung screams for a time break. With a particular lewd sound of their mixed saliva, he jerks his arm from Jaebum’s neck. Mark is about to detangle himself from the man in front of him. Needing a space to clear his mind that has been sucked dry from responding to such an emotional kiss. A squeeze on his interlaced hand stops him. He doesn’t even realize their hand are still interlocked all this time. A hand cradling his hair, prompting Mark to close the space between their face. Soon enough, his forehead touching Jaebum’s. Mark is peering into the man. Jaebum still has his eyes close. Lips red and puffy. A biting proof from his canine is spotted on the bottom left of Jaebum’s lip.

“This is not,” Jaebum slowly opening his eyes, “real enough for you.” A small smile is playing on his lips. He searches Mark’s eyes for something. The hand on Mark’s hair keeps caressing the root, sending a new shiver to his entire back.

“Jaebum.” The name feels so foreign on his tongue. Jaebum’s searching eyes is focusing on him. The hand on his hair is stopping. “You need a lot convincing to do.” Another squeeze on their interlacing hand. “Besides pointing out my weaknesses, and kissing me senseless.” Jaebum’s eyes is clearing a bit. He is a lot more focus from before. “I need more than that.” Mark breathes out. Half whispering the last sentence. He looks into Jaebum’s eyes. And he waits.

_There. The fire is back. I need more, Jaebum. Give me more._

Mark steps back. He walks to the side. Unlocking his door, going inside his apartment. Letting the wall separating himself and Jaebum.

 _Yes, he is walking away. But he is not running._ This time, it is his choice to do so. Not some mayday decision forced out of him from a hard situation. _That’s the difference. And he never feels so liberated in years._

 

_###_

 

Mark is not a stalker. He was never one, and he is not going to start as one. The fact that he is looking at Jaebum from his front door CCTV, it is between him and _God_ , **and you** _but don’t tell anyone!_ No, of course Mark would deny it as a form of _stalker-ish_ behavior. It is not his fault that Jaebum is standing in the vicinity of his front door, so he happened to get recorded on the CCTV Mark installed there. And, he would call it as being cautious when he kept looking at the man standing in front of his door for forty minutes straight until the man walked away. _Better safe than sorry, right?_

After all, seeing an unmoving man leaning on his wall for that long is not making his hazy mind clearing a bit. _If all,_ it makes him more confuse than before. _What did Jaebum thinking about for so long?_ Or rather, _what did I do to make Jaebum thinking and unmoving like that for so long?_

Hours later he is still thinking about this, _about the kiss, about the man,_ under the blanket burrito he made for himself. His stomach grumbles, prompting him to take a peek at his bedside table. A clock there is showing 7PM. _Here I thought it is already past midnight._ He shots out his hand to grab his phone on the said table. Hoping to call a take away from the deli some block away. Something greasy and a sweet treat would cure his so called sickness.

The first thing he touched makes his heart lurch. _The pendant._ Mark detangles himself from the cocoon. He grabs the cold chain and brings it closer to his sitting position. _The pendant. Jaebum’s pendant._ A silvery necklace, with a simple chain and an initial of the owner as the pendant. _JB._ Obviously costum made, with how unique the character entangles to each other. The bubbly font, curving the _J_ to fit into the back of the lower circle of the _B_. Very simple in design, but elegant nonetheless. Surprisingly plain with no gemstone or diamond decorating it. But, Mark would be an utter fool to think that the necklace made from a silver. _Must be a platinum._ He traces the letter with his fingertip, willing the cold material submerged and the heat from the owner emerges within.

When he closed his apartment door earlier, a small “ _Clink~”_ was resounding from where his hand met the door handle. He was not wearing a ring. To make sure, he inspected his right hand closely and found the necklace entangled into his forefinger and pinky. His mind drifted into the moment he jerked himself from Jaebum kiss. He might be accidentally ripping it off Jaebum’s neck. Unsure what to do with it, he just tossed it with his phone to the bedside table before he buried himself with all the blanket, duvet, and pillow.

It is beautiful. Simple. Eye-catching. From an untrained eyes, it would look like your usual everyday pendant. From the one which aware of high-end fashion and collective seasonal accessory, the pendant looks extra-ordinary. A custom made, with an intricate design not resembling anything in this world. The beauty within a simplicity.  _The truth that means to be expelled not for everyone to watch, but for the one who choose to see._

 _The pendant._ Much like the owner himself. Jaebum might be an asshole, crude, cold, unbearably determined, and couldn’t take a no very well. _But, they are what meets the eyes, among the other things._ His eyes tell a different story. You need to look deep into his eyes, behind the scorching fire which might be blinding you and daring you to take a step back instead of a step closer, to know that there always be something else that get masked by the harsh personality. Something good, _something pure._

A loud vibrate is startling him. Someone is calling him on his phone. Mark places the pendant on the top of his still intact pillow far off to the side. He grabs his phone and almost drops it to his carpeted floor. Jackson’s name is dimming on his phone screen. _Jackson. Wang. Jackson Wang._ He keeps staring at the screen. Don’t know what to do. Not that he is scarred of Jackson or something. _It’s not like Jaebum cheating on Jackson with him, right_? Yes, they kiss and all. But, Jaebum is not in attached relationship as far as he knows, _at least not with Jackson,_ so he is a fair game, right? _Right?_

 _Damn right, Tuan!_ Mark mentally scolds himself. This is so not the time for his overly sensitized conscience to act up. He already made up his mind with this issue regarding Jackson involvement with Jaebum. If all, this is the exact moment where he gets a chance to prod deeper about Jackson’s feeling and probably, drop the bomb while at it.

Inhaling deeply, Mark swipes the green button and places the phone to his ear. Bracing for a rainbow and sunshine his friend will assault him with any second from now. It is Jackson Wang after all.

“Markieeeeeeeeee my bro! Got any plan for tonight?”

“Well, it is Friday night…”

“No! NO! STOP! I know it is a lover boy time of the week. BUT I’M CALLING just MAYBE, MAYBE you would skip on your weekly romps just for once please? For me? We hardly meet since you come over that morning! I got so much to tell you!”

 _Well, damn. Just don’t tell me you falling in love with JB, Jacks._ “No, I mean to say that I don’t have a plan this Friday night. You lucky to catch me before I’m calling the other to make a plan myself.”

A loud _huff_ is heard from the other side. Mark just easily can picture Jackson rolling his eyes. “Please! As if you have ‘other friend’ you can contact beside me and your stuffy co-worker.”

Mark laughs. _Jackson knows him too well._ He proceeds to stand up from his bed and walks in the direction of his kitchen while listening to Jackson’s ramble about BamBam and Yugyeom that apparently making heart eyes to each other in the other days. When he opens his fridge to inspect any kind of ingredients possible for making a dinner, Jackson stops his rambling and refocusing into his conversation with Mark. “So, want me to come over? We can order a take-out and probably talking in front of muted television like old times?”, _Like old times._ The accurate term of _talking_ which Jackson means here is, Jackson talking and Mark hearing while munching a buttered popcorn. Giving a grunt or two in between, just so Jackson doesn’t feel neglected. _Sounds boring, right?_ But, this is them. This is Mark and Jackson. And Mark comfortable with this setting. Where he doesn’t need to come up with a topic to talk about. Just let himself be the ear for Jackson. Jackson only needs to be heard, to rant. He will eventually short his problem out by himself, he just needs a media. Mark is his media. And Jackson is, _Jackson._

“Alright, Jacks. I’ll buzz you up. Just let yourself in if I am not answering the door. I might be still in the shower.”

“Okay, see you soon. Markie-pooh~”

His friend sounds so excited. Mark almost feels bad about the bomb he supposed to drop later, at the end of Jackson’s visit. His friend probably drives here humming, already happy and ecstatic for a possible _bestie_ night out. Jackson doesn’t aware what is coming for him, or rather _who is coming for him._  

 _There is a bad thing happen for every good thing in this world._ That way, the world could keep its balance. The thing is, if the good is great enough, a little sacrifice is nothing. It is so happen, the one who will achieves the good is different from the one that will receive the bad. _That is the charm of life._ Sometimes you are up, sometimes you are down. And Jaebum is a great enough reason for Mark to say, he will be ready for any bad _karma_ that will visit him later, for inflicting a hurt to his dearest friend. Like Jaebum said, _be it._

A sound of doorbell is ringing several time while he is still rinsing a shampoo from his eyes. Couple ringing sounds later, a tell-tale of someone enters his apartment could be heard. Typical Jackson, always need to be so noisy in everything he does. _Just so people notice him, and he feels less lonely._ True enough, minutes after, Jackson is hollering at him, “Mark, I’m here! Where are you? Still showering?”

“Here, Jacks, in master shower!” Mark tries to speed up his shower. Knowing how impatient Jackson could be. He doesn’t need another scene where Jackson invades his shower to drag him out _just because_ ‘Mark is taking so long, Jackson gets too spooky in such a big space.’ _What a liar._ Jackson’s Condotel is as big as Mark’s, if not even bigger with the adjacent gym Jackson installed on his space. Back then, he couldn’t be angry at all. Butt naked, still in towel, got dragged out of the bath just because he was enjoying the bath bomb Jinyoung gave to him _a little too much_. The pout and puppy eyes that Jackson gave to him was making whatever complaint he got on store melt away. Jackson has this effect on people. _Making people wants to take care of him._

“Kay, I’ll wait here!” Jackson hollers back. Sounding much closer and less muffled than before. Forgoing shaving and his night skincare routine, Mark throws a clean clothes he brought in and attempts to dry his wet hair with a small towel. He opens the bathroom door to see Jackson sitting on his bed. Looking engrossed at something there.

Mark approaches his friend closer. Jackson is not even noticing him. _What got him look so engrossed like this?_

_Ohhhh, shit!_

“This is not what it looks like, Jackson.” Mark approaches closer cautiously. From this distance he could see Jackson’s thumb tracing the pendant softly. There is a fond look in his friend eyes while looking at the necklace. Mark couldn’t even denied it as a pendant that belongs to someone else, _someone other than Jaebum_. Jackson would know he is lying, because like him, Jackson could tell that there is no other pendant like this. _Only Jaebum’s._

Mark gets on his knees in front of Jackson, trying to peer up into his friend’s eyes. To gauge his reaction. Jackson seems lost in thought. Keep staring and caressing the curve on each character softly, like he is afraid it will break to a slightest pressure. Mark places his hand on the later knee, intends to repeat his words from the lack of response on Jackson’s side. “This is not what you think it is Jackson, please don’t misunderstand.”

Jackson continues to look at the pendant, and Mark is getting anxious. _Should he tried to be clearer?_ “Jackson, I’m not fucking Jaeb…”

“I know, Mark.” Jackson cuts of his words. Just when Mark about to get over worried that he renders his talkative friend speechless. Something that _never_ happened before. Jackson stopped caressing the pendant, he is looking at Mark from the corner of his eyes. “You only kissed him, right?” _Home run. Jackson straight to the killing part._

Mark can feel a dread seeping through the top of his head working its way slowly to the bottom of his stomach. He wants Jackson to know about this situation, but _hell_ not in this way. It is even worse than getting caught red-handed. Besides, _how does Jackson even know about this?_

Mark doesn’t even realize he is voicing out his thought and question until he hears Jackson answering, “JB, _ahh_ you might know him as Im Jaebum, told me everything couple weeks ago.” Jackson now is facing him, placing his hand above Mark’s on his own knees. The warmth radiating from his friend’s arm is calming Mark a bit.

“He told you?”, Mark baffled. _Just why Jaebum is telling Jackson about him?_ “Everything?”, Jackson nodded. Mark knocks back sitting butt-planted on his rug. His arm already misses the warmth from Jackson’s hand. His friend is still sitting on his bed, looking at him like _his world is not shattering and he is not making Mark’s world shatter with his news._

Jaebum telling Jackson everything is not something he was anticipating. _Not in a million years. Couple weeks ago_ , that means right around the time he himself realized that Jaebum is also JB _. Around the time of their first kiss._ When they finally acted upon the swirling tension and attraction between both of them. Also around the time, he put on a break to his relationship with Jinyoung. _Around the time, he finally decides to join the games._

And week after week, he dreading to drop this bomb on Jackson was proven to be a waste anyway. Because the mighty Jaebum himself told Jackson about it. _Is that meant they are no longer seeing each other? How come Jackson was not telling him about it earlier?_ If Jackson shuts his mouth tightly, that means something affecting him on a deeper level. Something that he couldn’t easily dismiss or something that too sensitive he couldn’t share or _afraid to be judged for it._

The hurdle of dropping the bomb is _thankfully_ he could skipped, but there is more to this than what he assumed before. If it even drove Jackson to the point of withstanding this information from Mark in weeks. _Something is not right._ Jackson is clearly okay with this information judging from how calm he is now. _Or probably he is done freaking out on the two-weeks span he hides it from you._ If else, Jackson looks _…hesitate_ and _… hopeful_. _Hopeful?_

Mark looks at his friend who is still looking back at him. There is something _more_ Jackson wants to tell him. It is clear as day. Mark is just hoping it wouldn’t somewhere along the line, _Can you back-off Mark, Jaebum is mine._ **Hell no.** It is not so very Jackson-like. Jackson is _selfless,_ like he countlessly said before. But it is not to say that he will go down without a fight. After all, his dearest friend motto is “ _never give up on things you can't live a day without_.”

The question is, ‘ _is Jaebum essential enough in Jackson life that he couldn’t live a day without some doze of him?’_ Sure as _hell,_ Mark would say yes if the question ever directed at him. _And that is precisely why I’ll never give up. And yes, even to Jackson._ The man with a beautiful twin moles above his eyes already planted a root so deep inside Mark’s soul, he couldn’t even try how to repeal it because he didn’t even notice _where and when it began to be too deep like this._

“I…I…” A _clear_ hesitation clouding Jackson’s face, and even his voice is lacked of its usual boisterous confidence. Mark nods to his friend, encouraging him to continue. He notices that Jackson grips Jaebum’s pendant tightly on his palm. “I…” Jackson drops down to his knees in front of him. Back hitting the side of Mark’s bed in order to fit himself into the small space in between Mark’s position and the bed. “I don’t mind to _share_ Mark, if it is okay with you. Just… Just… until I met someone else who could take care of me?”

Jackson’s eyes hold _so much_ hope inside. It is calling to _the Mark_ that has been Jackson’s friend for the most part of their life. It feels almost begging him to let Jackson have a small part of Jaebum. _And why? When Mark doesn’t own the man in the first place._ But, to imagine himself sharing Jaebum with another person, is nauseating. _When I couldn’t even stand a scratch mark on his hand._ “The thing is, Jacks,” Mark straighten his slumped sitting position, tries to level up with Jackson eyes. He wants his message to come across clearly to his friend. “I don’t want to share him.” Jackson’s eyes is dimming a fraction. “No offense, but with this one, with Jaebum, you could say I am greedy and an awful friend, but I just can’t.”

Jackson blinks. He closes his eyes and slumps back against the bed. _Two seconds, Mark is counting._ Jackson opens his eyes. A look of defeat replaces the hopeful expression from before. “JB told me just as much. I already said to him what I’ve told you just now, last week. He said you probably will oppose to my suggestion. And he couldn’t do much but agreeing with you. Said that you probably has a similar reason as him too. Then, he told me he can’t take care of me anymore. Not in _/that/_ sense. He said he will introduce his friend to me, but I don’t know Mark. It was never working before.”

A look of longing so palpable on Jackson’s eyes when he stares faraway to the mirrored ceiling of Mark’s bedroom. He looks sad. Mark wants to comfort him and tells him that all will be alright. But, he can’t lie to Jackson like that. He never does even a slight white lie to make his friend happy. It is the very trait that Jackson’s appreciate in him. Because Mark gives him all _as it is._ He should feel bad that he is the cause of his friend feeling defeated like this. _But no,_ the only thing he feels in his mind is _immense relief. Jaebum who cuts the tie with Jackson, willingly, unknowingly. For whatever reason._

 _Still._ He feels bad seeing Jackson like this. Almost like seeing the same Jackson from over four years ago all over again. _Hopeless._ Mark knows, in time, it will heal. _In time, he will forget, just like the last time._ Mark moves from his position to sit on the right side of Jackson. Encouraging his friend to lean his head to his own shoulder. _It is at least what I can do, to be there when he feels the loneliness trapping him._ Jackson been there, and Mark too. He knows what to do and to not do from his first experience handling this kind of Jackson. Jackson settles against his shoulder with a heaving sigh of someone who is really tired of the world. _Sorry, Jacks, I’ll make it up to you, I promise._

"How do you feel about him, Jacks?"

"I don’t plan to fall for him, like what I’ve already told you before. But I might be, Mark.” Jackson’s breath is hot against his collar bone. _But_ Mark feels a coldness seeping all over his skull. _Am I too late?_ Jackson lets out another heavy sigh. His hand is creeping out Mark’s hand. One of them grips his wrist and the other, _the one that gripping Jaebum’s pendant tightly,_ forces his palm to open up. “So please take him far away from me, and keep him tightly leashed beside you.” Jackson drops the pendant to Mark’s open palm then proceed to close it with a pressure from his own hand. Mark grips the pendant tightly. Jackson catches this gesture before he looks Mark straight in the eyes. _Another kind of fire starts brewing on his friend eyes. The fire that never there. “_ Before I make another mistake and you make a regrettable choice of passing up the only chance for you to own the happy ending you clearly needed more.”

 **_A friend._ ** _Is the one that know you best even when you choose not to share all of you to them. **A friend.** Is the one that know when to ask a question but not afraid to slap you if you ever fall into a same mistake twice. **A friend.** Is the one that know the vacant in your eyes even when you think it is not there. **A friend.** Is the one who encourage you to snatch away a bigger happiness even if it means including small sacrifice from himself. Knowing that you will do the same it his time comes, even if you still don’t know for sure you would do that for him. But he belief you would. **A friend.** Is Jackson Wang._

_###_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reference for JB pendant, he wore it in JJ Project MTV Diary EP 33, around 6 minutes mark onwards. =)  
> Here's the video link :: www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tB1g4C9DJQ


	7. Chapter 7

_7 th_

For the remaining weekends, Jackson thinks it is a great idea to do a sleepover at Mark’s place. So there his weekend goes, lazing around with Jackson and Coco, eating overly greasy take out, finishing his secret stash of ice cream, while watching a marathon of ‘Pokémon the Movie’ on the paid-per-view channel. He feels too old for this kind of _shit_ , mentally shaking his head at every mindless activities they choose to do next. Only Jackson could do that, distract him to the point he doesn’t even remember what their problem at the first place. _Something that Jackson does so well for the other, but can’t implement for himself._ Jackson really needs to act upon his words of advice for himself _first_ , before go around nagging people _to stop this and that_. His friend, is too selfless, _and on one too many occasion Mark glad for this fact._

Exactly two days and a half, both of them locked themselves in Mark’s apartment. Doing all sort of comfort activity and eating all sort of comfort food. When Monday evening rolling in, Jackson announced that if he is staying any longer there, he might as well ruined his months _and months_ of progress in his gym result. Which is completely bullshit for Mark, since his friend always looks so ripped all the time. With a final slobbery smooch to Mark’s cheek, Jackson walks out of his apartment. Leaving Mark with a messy room and an empty fridge, but a warmth on his chest. He could never thank you Jackson much for this. It is him that supposed to be cheering Jackson after his friend encourage him to go for Jaebum. In the end, Jackson is the one that makes the two of them, _hopefully Jackson too,_ feel better. About the somehow horrid situation, a bad timing, and _the most important thing is_ , making their friendship back into a solid ground it always has been.

He drags himself from the front door and plans to continue lazing around before he needs to take Coco for his weekly grooming. Just a minute into scrolling mindlessly on his SNS, his phone is ringing. _Jinyoung?_ It has been a long time since he thinks about Jinyoung, probably as long as the time span he spent on not meeting Jinyoung. It is like, when Mark closed the door to Jinyoung’s study more than 3 weeks ago, the small cubicle full of everything-Jinyoung in his brain also sealed itself. Put away for a while, giving a space to a much larger and space-consuming new tenant on his mind, namely _Im Jaebum._ The man he only discovered the full name two months after their first meeting. And _it is too, thanks to Jackson._ His friend maybe assumed that Mark knows Jaebum well or something, when in fact, _no Jackson, I don’t know a thing about Jaebum except for the fact he is bugging my brain like an aggressive virus. Relenting._

_Jinyoung, jinyoung. Calling me? Why?_

“Jinyoung?” Mark speaks warily. His mind can’t find a reason to why Jinyoung might be calling him, after weeks of radio silence. _Not that they were communicating often before._ But, with the way Mark somehow said a goodbye, he thought he would never heard from Jinyoung again. Unless he is the one that reaching Jinyoung first. On their short relationship, it was always Mark that put an extra miles to keep in touch with Jinyoung through sending a funny or interesting thing he stumbled upon via their LINE chatting. So, Jinyoung reaching out first, could only meant one thing. _A booty call. Like so many calls he received from Jinyoung in the past._ Mark doubt it, Jinyoung is a person that respect someone’s wish, because he demands it for himself too.

“Yes, Mark. It’s me Jinyoung. You don’t forget about me, do you now?” Mark sighes. _That voice._ He could totally see the crinkle of Jinyoung’s eyes while he said the line before. _Teasing me, like always._ He almost forgets about the treasure companionship he had with Jinyoung. How he was enjoying their quiet time together. Jinyoung types away on his work station, and Mark simply looks far away from the big window behind Jinyoung’s chair inside his study.

“Actually, I don’t have much time. I’d just dropping by around your apartment complex. Can you buzzed me up? You’re on level 25, right? I’ll tell the concierge. I need to give you something, real quick. And like, real now. Is that okay?” Jinyoung seems really in a rush. Mark haphazardly sprays a perfume all around his body and prepares to call the ground floor to buzz Jinyoung up to his level. _Wait, how does Jinyoung know on which floor I am?_

“Jinyoung, how did you know I’m on 25? I don’t remember telling...”

“Ah... Hold up! No need to buzz me up Mark, I’m already on the elevator, can you meet me in front of it? I really need to be quick, I don’t even park my car. See you!”

_Click~_

_Wow. What a weird end to a much appreciated phone call._ Mark throws a track jacket over his t-shirt as an attempt to look more presentable in front of Jinyoung. He doesn’t need Jinyoung to witness his ready-to-slump attire. He needs to be the Mark that Jinyoung always see. _Prim and proper Mark_ , if not somewhat quiet Mark. Unlocking his door, he puts on his home slipper and pulls on the hoodie over his messy hair. Leaving only his longish brunette hair covers part of his eyes. He walks to the other end of hallway, stopping several step from the elevator.

 _It is still on level 18._ He has an extra time to fix himself. Minute later and the **_DING~_** is closer. The metal door in front of him parts. Revealing Jinyoung in his usual preppy styling. Hair always a perfect pitch black with not even one single hair out of place. White button up with embroidery ornament alongside the hem, tucked in to a baggy cotton slacks that end just short above Jinyoung’s slim ankle. No shocks in sight. Oxford shoes shinny like new. _And the smile, crinkly and teasing._ Lip-closed and stretch just right to make the smile believable. That is _the Park Jinyoung_ he knew.

Jinyoung is alone in the elevator. Standing on the center, slightly to the back. Upon the door opening, he steps forward and stops just in between the metal door. Mark offers him a smile. _Been a long time._ “Hello, Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung doesn’t respond to his greeting. Only nodding and gesturing for Mark to come closer. When Mark enters his range of touch, Jinyoung shots out a hand and places it near Mark’s ear, inside his hoodies. The crinkle dips deeper. “Hello, Mark. It’s been a while.”

Jinyoung’s eyes is looking at his entire face. Eyes back and forth, as if Jinyoung is inspecting and searching what’s different from Mark. At last, his eyes settles back into Mark eyes. The smile stretches even broader. With one last lingering stroke from Mark’s ears to his jaw, Jinyoung’s hand is leaving his face. “You seems, more alive, Hyung.”

Mark chuckles. _Even Jinyoung notices it. Just how great Jaebum affecting my life?_ Mark has nothing to offer as a response to Jinyoung’s observation. He cannot deny it, _because if even an outsider can tell the difference, then it must be true. That I look more alive._ And, he also not about to tell Jinyoung the reason why. He knows from the open comment throws from Jinyoung’s side that Jinyoung wants to know. Alluring Mark to complete the open-ended sentence with a reason of the real driving force behind it.

 _But somehow,_ there is a voice that refusing to share his experience with Jaebum to the world. The voice that says, _let it be our little secret._ And it makes sense. Every person in his life has a certain portion and slot he reserved for each of them. Somehow, the order is a bit _chaotic_ because of the entanglement of Jackson and Jaebum. As much as he wants to tell Jinyoung about this, Mark doesn’t want to further brewing more _chaos_ into his orderly spot by bringing Jinyoung into all this.

So, instead of offering some explanation that would satisfied the curiosity lacing in Jinyoung’s question, Mark choose to keep his mouth shut. After all, it is this Mark who Jinyoung used to. The tame, kind, and non-judgmental Mark. _And, he will play the part._

They are looking at each other and into one another. **In Jinyoung’s mind,** probably he is wondering what happened to the Mark he once knew. _What is the different, and how it could be different. And how the difference will affecting him._ **In Mark’s mind,** he is also wondering. _What attracts him to Jinyoung back then, what lure him in, and trapping him for several months_. Because now, when he is seeing Jinyoung, _sure he is still very much handsome and sensual,_ but the sight is no longer making his stomach churning in a slow burn desire like it was once before. The one realization that hit him the most is, _how different Jinyoung is from Jaebum._

 _Jinyoung is the pretty boy to Jaebum’s rugged masculinity._ Though both of them probably of similar height, Mark could say confidently that he is capable to handle Jinyoung on his own. _While Jaebum..._ seems a lot bigger and mightier thanks to his personality and the way he carrying himself that adding as a plus to his physical appearance, it makes him a lot bigger than he actually is. The confidence he carries within his entire body is like another meter altogether, ready to be added to Jaebum’s real height. More than ever, he fully realized that Jinyoung in fact much similar to himself.

Out the corner of his eyes, Mark notices that the metal door is starting to close on Jinyoung. He hurriedly pushes the button on outside panel to prevent it making an impact in Jinyoung’s body. The movement seems awaken Jinyoung from his perusal. When Mark is back in front of him, Jinyoung’s hand once again shots out to him. This time, it is carrying a navy blue envelope with a gold lining.

Mark accepts the envelope, and tries to decipher, what kind of envelop it is. He comes up blank. Because other than the cursive letter saying _“to Mark Tuan”_ in front side, the back side doesn’t reveal a thing other than a classic wax seal with _Jr._ engraved inside. Mark frowns, tilting his head in question to Jinyoung.

“It is for a mask ball party in my house this upcoming weekend.” At Mark apparent confusion, Jinyoung laughs. _And as usual,_ hiding his laugh. This time with the other two similar invitation he currently holds in his hand. “Don’t worry, it is not that serious. Just bring a mask, and the invitation, you’ll be admitted by the EO that my agency hired.”

The metal door once again is beginning to close on each side of Jinyoung’s body. This time, Jinyoung puts his hand to hold its movement. He tilts his head a little. Eyebrow is raising in question. “So? Should I wait for your RSVP e-mail or ...?”

 _Moron. Of course, he is still waiting for that._ “Ah, yes. I’ll come. Thanks, Jinyoung.” Mark lowers his hand. Giving another smile back at Jinyoung. The later seems very relieved hearing the agreement came out of Mark’s mouth. Probably, he is hosting something important. _His birthday?_

“I’ll be waiting.” With one last nod, Jinyoung disappears behind the metal door. _Park Jinyoung, as beautiful as ever._ Mark smiles before retreating back to his apartment. On the comfy of his white couch, he opens the invitation.

 

**_“Choose a mask, and wear it well,_ **

**_So your true identity, no one can tell.”_ **

_Mr. Mark Tuan_

_You’ve been invited to the launching after party of Junior’s new release, Paradise._

_A masquerade ball with a casual black tie attire. Be as creative as you wish._

_Friday, March 31st 2017_

_7PM – 11PM_

_41, 79-gil Apgujeong-ro, Gangnam-gu, Seoul_

_As it will be held on a private setting, please be note that each guest should bring their own invitation card and a mask to be admitted inside._

 

_###_

 

 

 _Sure, Jinyoung told him it is not that serious._ After seeing the extravagant invitation and an equally extravagant event it is represented for, Mark couldn’t help but put more effort into his attire for the ball. It took him almost 4 days to find an outfit that is not too shabby, but not too try-hard either. He settled on some vintage looking shirt, straight from Georgian-era movies with chest ornament that looks like a rumple cravat. The shirt is white, button-up hidden behind the ornament. He tucks in the tail to his brand new black skinny jeans. Not too tight, to give an illusion of somewhat formal. Not a baggy type, because well. _He is not Jinyoung._

From his vicinity, he could see his mask of the night still contained of its box. The mask he specially ordered to fit his crooked nose perfectly. It is burgundy red, with a sparkly red lining along the seams. The nose part is cut up to third length of his own nose. Showcasing the rest. The perk of having an older sister that works as a designer for famous label. His sister, Tammy, almost as excited as if she is the one that will attend the Masquerade Ball. Giving Mark abundant of advice to what kind of attire he should wear, and what not.

He remembers his own reaction when receiving the package in his mailbox several days ago. When he opened the un-assuming black box, his vision instantly assaulted by the sheer beauty of it. The burgundy red mask was laying between a black satin velvet. _Almost like..._ alive. _Red. My color._ He also remembered a little note from his sister inside the box. ‘ _Wear it with a little winged eyeliner, don’t tight-lined your water line, but use your vibrant blue contacts instead. It will accentuate your big eyes.’_

And, that is what exactly Mark been doing for the past two hours. Dolling up himself per his sister suggestion. He already put on a little eyeliner and now he is in the middle of putting a circled lenses into his eyes. He has a perfect eyesight, but sometimes he puts it on for fun. Liking how the different color also brought out a different charm on himself. And vibrant blue, on the darker side, is indeed the perfect shades for him. When he finished put them into both side of his eyes, he stares at the final visual it is created on his bathroom mirror.

He always been blessed with a big eyes. All of his family own a big eyes. While Tammy, Joey, and Grace have a big and sharp one, his own is more resembling to their own mother. _A big and doe eyes_. A set of eyes that made his father fallen in love with his mom back then. Replacing the deep brown irises color to a vibrant deep blue makes the doe accentuated more and added an element of bottomless illusion inside his eyes. He grabs the mask and places it in front of his eyes, wanting to see the overall effect of this visual will create. The red of the mask contrasting heavily against his white skin. The blue irises framed by the muted red, is making him appeared _... mysterious_. He likes the effect. He makes note to himself, _send Tammy a pair of Louboutin for her birthday._

 _The red._ Also making him remember certain someone. Who he constantly thinking this past week, but never meet in person since the last time. _It is too much to say that I already miss his bossy ass?_ Mark unconsciously clutches at the pendant on his chest. One of the only two reminder that what was happening outside his front door is real. That, and the CCTV tape, which he replayed hundreds time like a lunatic in a wee hour of the night. Several time in past week, Mark tempted to just go to the 33rd floor and waited in front of the later door, much like what Jaebum did to him. The one time he was close enough to do so, he just remembered that the top floor has a limited access. A special kind of card is needed to be able to push the 33rd button on the panel. Or, if the owner buzzed you up. The realization made Mark stop short in front of his elevator and retreated back to his apartment. Sulking for the rest of week. Attempting to distract his mind from a certain man whose kiss is still lingering on his own lips, by busying himself in preparation for Jinyoung’s ball.

A masquerade ball which started about half an hour ago. _Holy shit, I am running late!_ And with the distance from his place to Jinyoung’s Villa and the busy road of a Friday night in Seoul, safe to say he will not be considered a fashionably late when he finally reaching the outskirt Villa. Grabbing his car key, mask, and invitation, he heads to the basement. Before entering the elevator, he sends a quick text to Jinyoung informing that he will be late.

 

 

 

 

 

> **Mark Tuan**
> 
> Jinyoung... Sorry, I’m running late. Still in my apartment.
> 
> **Jinyoung Park**
> 
> S’okay Hyung~ I’ll let the door man know. Drive carefully~
> 
>  

It is unpractical really to own a fast car in Seoul. The busy street and rush hour traffic jam are making the horse power on his car machine unusable. As much as Mark wants to step on the gas pedal deeply, he got no room to move. Going out before 8PM on Friday night is practically suicide. A normally thirty minutes Journey is turning into an hour one. By the time Mark entering the road with pine tree on each side of it, the clock on his car is showing 8:43PM. _Shit! I almost two hours late._

He left his car to the valet man near Jinyoung’s gate, because apparently all available spot inside Jinyoung’s driveway is full. _Figures, is this how ‘not that serious’ party in your dictionary Jinyoung?_ Thankfully, he has enough sense to dress up quiet decent. Looking at the car lines up in front of Jinyoung’s home, which probably comes straight up from a fast car magazine showroom, Jinyoung sure knows a right people inside his social circle. The front yard has been transformed into some garden party, several people milling around and few of them occupying the bench which Mark never seen before. A servant is walking with a tray of _hors d’oeuvre_ and several also are carrying a tray of bubbly champagne and probably white wine.

Mark spots a door man with a busy-looking woman beside the large double door of Jinyoung’s villa. Mark gives the invitation to the woman, and using the time she is using to look up his name on the list to clip the mask onto the back of his head. He notices that most of the man used a black mask or something in dark color, while the woman mostly using a mask that matched their cocktail dress. He feels a bit odd to use a vibrant one. _But at the same time, he feels proud that his mask is showing his true color. Someone that dare to be different._

“Ah, Mr. Tuan, sorry for the waiting. I need to reconfirm with Mr. Park first, he wished to be noticed upon your arrival. Please follow Mr. Lee here, he will lead you to Mr. Park. Enjoy your evening!” The pretty woman with a name tag that says Dahyun, has a lot of bright energy. She easily whooping Mark’s anxiousness about coming in so late. She ended her explanation with a big grin that was not really matching with the overall effect she got from wearing a mask. But nonetheless, a mask also will not hinder himself from sending his gratitude for the positive energy Mark absorbs from the young woman. So, Mark gives back a grin as big as the girl sending to him earlier. Even sends a bit wink before he is disappearing inside the villa.

The inside is a contrasting atmosphere to the bright and warm laughs he experienced a bit on the front yard. Inside the house, everything screams Masquerade Ball. From the darkish decor to the people that chatting in low and hush voice. People looking a bit more aloof and cold here. A really perfect reenaction for a classic masquerade play. No servant milling around, except for those who situated behind the bar to help people mix their preferable poison for the night. On the center of this first floor, several massive flower arrangement are placed close to each other. Right in front of the beautiful flowers, a lone round table is located. A book is placed on top. The title is _Paradise,_ with the sentence below saying _“The first romantic mystery fiction from Junior.”_

 _Romantic mystery? Jinyoung writes a romance?_ It is indeed a shocking news, for Mark, and probably for all literature world too. Since Junior is notorious for never including even a slight bit of romance in all of his books. A minor detail that people translated into accusation and bad rumor about the author himself. _Cold hearted. A real psycho._ The two are ranking high in search engine, as a related keyword to Junior. Regardless, Jinyoung still sold his novel well. And as far as Mark knew, he didn’t even slightly affected by the rumor.

His steps falter a bit, intrigued to stop for a second and read the excerpt. He never read Jinyoung’s book, _not his cup of tea._ But, this one is making him all sort of curious. And yes, he probably will purchase one for himself once it hits a bookstore.

However, Mr. Lee, as Dahyun addressed the doorman Mark is currently tailing, left no room for a reroute. Sensing that Mark is no longer in a perfect distance to him, Mr. Lee comes back to him with a smile that saying, ‘ _Hurry up, I’ve been standing for five hours straight. You don’t want to mess-up with me.’_ Even a harmless looking people could be scary in time of need. Mark chooses to spare his life and back to tail the doorman. Which is proven to be a very efficient navigator. Because no longer than several steps after that, Mark already can see Jinyoung standing near the stairs. He is occupied, talking to a broad man with a champagne on his hand. Mr. Lee is whispering something into Jinyoung’s ear which is followed by some hand gesture to Mark’s direction. Mark feels like a deer in a highlight.

Jinyoung turns his head to Mark direction. A big smile adorning his handsome face. Unfortunately the eye crinkle is hidden behind the gold mask Jinyoung wearing. Jinyoung looks fine, _like a prince,_ his added this quietly inside his mind. He wears a simple-two pieces suits in a navy blue shades. Opting to wear thin ribbon as a simple bow on his shirt collar rather than some actual tie. Shredding out some uptight feeling from the conventional suits. Jinyoung motions him to come over.

“Ah, look at you, what a looker! I love the red mask, Hyung! Only you can pull it off.”

“Ditto. You look good too! Sorry for coming late, and congratulation on the book launching. You should send a copy to me.”

“I thought you didn’t read my books, Hyung~” Jinyoung is clearly teasing him. A joy reflected in his eyes, really different from the usual plain stare Mark used to. Mark lets himself absorbs all the positive feeling for tonight. Already planning to get wasted after eyeing the bar on his way to Jinyoung.

Mark sense a movement from the left side of them. “Nah, don’t sweat yourself. This one here is so petty. He even makes sure I bought a copy for myself. Constantly nagging me to send the pre-order e-mail already.”

Mark whips his head so fast to the direction of the voice. He looks at the man who previously talked to Jinyoung closely. In a dim light, he couldn’t make sure who it is, _but the voice._ He never encounter other person that owns a raspy tenor voice other than...

“Yah! Jaebum-hyung! Don’t taint my image in front of Mark-hyung!” Mark saw a blurry movement of Jinyoung pinching Jaebum’s waist which is followed by a low-grunt sounding from his left side.

_The grunt._

“Aww! What was that for?” The voice sounds so far away. Like an echo from the other side of long tunnel. Hollow and decaying.

Jinyoung’s companion step aside, closer to Jinyoung. The image now partly illuminated by the small lamp on nearby wall. Mark can see clearly the left side of the man. _The two moles above his left eyes that is not concealed by the gold mask._

_It is really Jaebum. It is not a figment of my imagination._

Dressed impeccably with a trendy long suit jacket in coffee brown. Made from a silky looking material. A velvety vest with similar color to the jacket and a white shirt unbuttoned. Another silver sparkly necklace   adorned his neck. This time with a chain that long enough for the pendant to reach the middle of his chest. The sparkly chain is looking enchanting with a milky white skin as the background. Mark’s hand is itching to grab the chain and steal it, adding to his collection alongside the JB pendant he currently wears.

The man looks damn fine. His red hair is brushed up, showcasing a handsome forehead and a set of eyes that framed by a gold mask much similar to Jinyoung’s. Unlike Mark, his eyes is void of any make-up. And just for what exactly, when in natural state, Jaebum’s eyes are already as captivating as it is. Nose is looking sharper with how the mask molded into his face perfectly.  Several earing are dangling on his pierced ears. A stars on the right and few crosses on the left side. Adding more spotlight into the strong neck that Jaebum has.

_Jaebum is really here. Speaking to Jinyoung. Even joking around._

Mark is staring at both through their bickering. The constantly teasing Jinyoung and the sarcastic way that is Jaebum. They are circling each other with a rehearsed dynamic. With a familiarity of an old married couple that Mark sometimes teased his parent with. To see it on some other relationship, is just surprising. _Even more_ when you are seeing it between a man you used to fuck and a man you currently want to fuck.

_Does the world really is this small?_

 


	8. Chapter 8

It is a mix of weird feeling churning in his gut. There is shock, for one. He feels like everyone build a conspiracy against him. A plot where, ‘ _Let’s all be friend with Jaebum, but not telling Mark_ _’_ kind of feeling. First, Jackson was fucking Jaebum. Second, Jinyoung looked _damn_ too familiar with Jaebum, it is no way they never fucked each other before. And this leads to another strange feeling mixed in.

There is arousal throwing somewhere between. An image playing repeatedly on his head, of how Jaebum with Jackson. Of how Jaebum with Jinyoung. Of how probably they each experienced their own version of Jaebum in bed. Because, knowing Jackson and had been fucking Jinyoung, Mark can be sure that Jackson and Jinyoung preference in bed are completely the opposite. _And just how great of lover Jaebum is?_

Also, lurking from the dark place of his mind, another feeling mixed in. There is, jealousy and insecurity. _Just how many people Jaebum fucked in a moment? Is Jinyoung now fucking Jaebum, that’s why he didn’t contact me at all? Does Jackson know about Jinyoung, vice versa? Do I the only one who left in the dark?_

“Ah, Mark-Hyung sorry about that!” Jinyoung wipes the corner of his eyes with his knuckles. Apparently he was laughing hard enough that his eyes watery from that. Not that Mark noticed, his mind still in shock. Everything seems so blurry.

“Mark-Hyung, I want you to meet Im Jaebum, my best friend. Jaebum-Hyung, this is Mark Tuan. My friend.” It is admirable how Jinyoung didn’t even stumble when defining their relationship as a _mere friend._ Mark wants to snort at this, they barely know each other outside the weekend. Jinyoung holds the back of Jaebum’s elbow, Mark noticed for a fraction before he moves his eyes to Jinyoung’s beaming smile.

“Oh, I know him alright, Jinyoung. Thank you for introducing though.” Mark flicks his eyes a bit to Jaebum’s direction. The man has audacity to smirk. _Well Jaebum, this might be amusing for you, but not for me._

“Fancy meeting you outside the elevator, Mark.” Jaebum tilts his champagne glass into Mark’s direction before he looks to the side. Looking Jinyoung straight in his eyes. Something passed between the both of them.

Jinyoung smiles before looking back at Mark. “Of course, both of you live in the same apartment complex after all.” He observes Mark for a while, then proceeds to look back to Jaebum. There is a curiosity lacing it. In which Jaebum just smirking and laughing as a response.

 _Damn, I know they are talking about me. Even when they are not voicing it._ Look at that, a typical long time married couple. Communicating with their eyes. Go around mocking people right in front of them. Making them uncomfortable, _making me uncomfortable._ “Sorry to interrupt, I’ll just head to the bar.” Mark turns his body and walks to the direction of open bar. Willing himself to not looking back to see what kind of reaction his going away is inflicted on Jaebum.

While ordering a vodka on the rock, Mark sits in one of the bar stool that allowing him to looking at the rest of party. He knows Jaebum has been going around. _Hell,_ he even easily predicts him as a _fuck_ _-_ _boy_. That confidence is not emerging from nothing. But to know it by heart, and to witness it with own eyes surely really different. Even when he realized Jaebum is the JB of Jackson story, Mark already replayed Jackson’s story with Jaebum’s face replacing the unknown entity from the first time Jackson recited the story. But, he never as fuming as he is now. Seeing how familiar Jaebum  & Jinyoung acted around each other has proven too much for him to handle. A familiarity as a fruit of years and _years_ being in each other life. Eye is teasing enough for other 3rd person to guess that there is more to it. _Or was, more to it._ The thing is, _Jaebum doesn’t need to flaunt it in front of me. They don’t need rubbing it in to my face._

Gritting his teeth in annoyance, Mark orders another glass. He looks around to the spacious room. About twenty people milling around or standing in a group of two to three. Several girl accompanied by her significant one. Several grouped together. He can’t find someone who is alone like himself. _Just great._ A soft music playing from the sound system installed on each corner of the room. Something sultry sounding, probably encouraging the guess to lay back and chill enjoying the atmosphere.

His gaze drifts back to where Jaebum & Jinyoung resided before. They are still there. _On their own bubble._ Jaebum laughs at something Jinyoung animatedly saying. Jinyoung shoves Jaebum’s shoulder playfully, laughing with him while covering his own mouth in attempt to still looking polite. Jaebum clutches at the hand on his shoulder, looking at Jinyoung with a fond eyes. _If love could be manifested into something physically real, it is on how sparkly their eyes when looking at each other._ Mark hates it. He grips his shot glass tightly. Knuckle white, eyes set ablaze. _His fire is here._ A different kind of fire, _an ugly one,_ but still a fire nonetheless.

It is obvious they are having a feeling towards each other. _And so what does the games that Jaebum playing_ _with him_ _?_ Mark wants to throw his glass across the room. He feels like an angry lover spying on his beloved one having a great time of his life with his legitimate partner. Looking at how flushed Jinyoung’s cheek when Jaebum leaned down to whisper something into his ear. _Too close, to damn close._

He wants to go there and rips them apart. Funny thing, he is mostly angry with himself. For not going there and doing just that. For not having a privilege to rip them apart. _For not stepping forward and claiming Jaebum all this time._ God knows how many times he was passing the chance, just to turn around and walk away. He gulps his fourth glass frustratingly. Heaving slightly with the liquid burning his throat. _Too late._

Jaebum is a _free games_ for anyone who interested enough to take a little sampling. He is single and available. He is sexy and handsome. He is rich and somewhat famous. He is young and driven. _And he is not mine._ So, Mark has no business wanting to go ballistic after seeing Jinyoung touched the collar around Jaebum’s neck to fix the necklace chain that probably out of place. Also, he has no business wanting to burn his own eyes after witnessing a lingering touch Jinyoung left on Jaebum’s skin inside the shirt collar. Most importantly, he has no privilege to throw them a dagger from the opposite side of the room. The knowing look in Jaebum’s smile is very familiar. _He supposed to be smiling like that only to me._ Mark looks away, willing his fire to tame down before it burns the entire room. While he is trying to regulate his breathing, he missed a sideway glance Jaebum throwing at him.

He is losing count of how many shots he downed. His body starts to overheat and his head is already on the right place. Loose enough to not wanting to turn back his eyes spying on the couple across the room, but not empty enough that he still can see Jaebum & Jinyoung & Jackson swirling inside his head. Mocking him to be such a fool. A fool of himself and _a fool for Jaebum_.

A strong hand grips his wrist to prevent him downing another shot of vodka. The liquid is sloshing inside the glass. Some of them spilling to the side, wetting his fingers. Another palm grabs at his hand, forcing his finger to let the glass go from his clutch. With hazy mind, Mark watches as the hand lowering his shot glass to the bar table. “You’ve been drinking nonstop, Mark, wouldn’t want you to pass out this early, aren’t we?” A silhouette of red hair takes a sit in a vacant bar stool besides him. Hand is still clutching his wrist.

Mark shakes his hand, willing the hand to let go. Instead of loosening its grip, it is tighten even more. Forcing him to look into the eyes of its owner. “You don’t get to tell me what to do, Im Jaebum.” His hazy mind clears up as his fire is back. A fuming he’s been extinguish with several glass shots earlier is surfacing again.

“Then don’t do some act that makes other worried about you, probably then I don’t need to come here to tell you that you’ve been drinking too much.” Jaebum grabs his half-full shot glass and downs it himself. He places it back on the bar with downturned position. And signaling for the bartender to take it away. His grip on Mark’s wrist as strong as ever. He looks behind and gives a nod to someone.

Mark turns his head and watches Jinyoung returning the nods back before he walks to the door that lead into the front yard. _What the hell is going on?_ “What is this? Jinyoung sends you here?” Mark snorts. He can’t imagine what these two playing on him. He doesn’t want to be a part of it. “He said to you that he is worried about me and you came here to make sure I am okay. Then what? You be back with him and continue laughing at me right in front of my face?”

Jaebum squeezes his wrist and lets it go. His eyes is cloudy, nothing like a transparent window from a week ago. His fingertips is doing a small caress on Mark’s pulsing point. “I didn’t know you’ve been fucking Nyoung all this time.” Jaebum is smirking at him before looking at where his fingertips caressing Mark. “That he was the one which I call as your vanilla boyfriend before.”

“How is it?” Mark challenges. Grabbing Jaebum hand with his own palm to stop his caressing motion. His fire is there. It is big. It is consuming him. It is demanding a blood shredded from the man in front of him for making him let the fire burning his own self. “Is it hurt, isn’t it?” Malice lacing deep in his voice. He is already failed to conceal how seeing Jaebum being familiar with someone else affects him this much. “That’s exactly what I felt when I realize you’ve been fucking Jackson.” He digs his fingers deeper into Jaebum’s skin. Willing it to break. Willing it to hurt. Willing Jaebum to feel how turmoil currently boiling inside his mind. Jaebum is looking at him, but there is nothing to see from the still cloudy eyes. He puts up his wall again, denying Mark of his fire.

 _Not willing to go there. Enough is enough. I’m already hurting myself enough for today._ At the first sign of grimace crosses Jaebum’s expression, Mark is letting go of his grip. Abruptly standing, pulling up all of his determination to not swaying on his feet. He gets a moment of head rush, which is prompting him to grip the bar edge to steady himself. Jaebum rouses to his feet, ready to help Mark standing up. Mark holds up his left hand. Jaebum stops his movement, standing stiff, looking agitated. Mark walks away, he really needs to sober up first before having any kind of interaction with Jaebum.

Not even two steps into his escape, he hears a deep voice behind him. “Stop.” He stops. Waiting for the next word. _Damn myself for obeying his word._ “Stop it. Look inside you. Are you really want to pass up this out of stubbornness?” A hand is reaching into his own, gripping his wrist gently. The voice sounds a little bit closer now. “Been a month, when we could have growing something significant with that exact amount of time.”

Mark closes his eyes. Still not looking behind. An encouraging squeeze on his wrist prompts him to voice out some of his inner mind. “It called being cautious. I don’t want to get hurt in the end. It is something inevitable with you. Me, getting hurt.” He spoke the last sentence with a strong intonation on each of the syllable, wanting the other to understand where he is coming from.

A tug on his wrist is making him turned around. Looking at the eyes of man that making his life feels like a roller coaster ride for several weeks. There is a compassion inside his eyes. Mark feels he should braced himself from whatever Jaebum about to say next. “I will not be a gentleman and telling you an empty promise, like _‘I will never ever hurting you Mark’_. That is bullshit, and I know you don’t need another bullshit on your life. _But_ ,” Jaebum smiles, breath-taking and _it is not fair_ , “I will promise not to hurt you intentionally. And even if I make you hurt in the end, I’ll make it worth your while.” He brings Mark’s hand to his lips and kisses it softly. _Much like what he did when I slapped him. What a smooth talking bastard._

“Speaking like a true heartbreaker. Fuck you, _Im Jaebum_ , just fuck you.” Mark jerks his hand from Jaebum grip. Throwing a dagger with his eyes into the smirking man in front of him. The man continues to smile even bigger seeing the state of anger Mark is in. He even dares to bow down, with a hand on his chest, giving Mark a salute while saying, “I’d love to Mark. I’d love to”. Then, he is turning back to the bar and ordering something to the bartender. _Fucking Jaebum, fucking Im Jaebum. Urghhh~_

Strange enough, his feet is bringing him into Jinyoung’s study. A place quiet enough for him to rearrange his thought and bringing himself down from his tipsy state. He doesn’t feel the alcohol hitting much in his system until he needs to climb up the long swirling stairs to the second floor. Cursing Jinyoung for making it classy by not installing any elevator in his two and half story villa. His brain feels like it is flying between clouds, he couldn’t see the step in front of him clear enough. So he climbs the fifty steps slowly with his hand tightly clutching the stair handle.

By the time he reaches the top floor, his drunk mind is already half clear. Adrenaline shoots up high for a fear of falling down from the stairs. He crosses the room to reach a double door on the end of it. Praying that Jinyoung didn’t lock it in fear his drunk guess wandering around or _even_ a too horny couple trying to find a vacant room for a quick fuck.

He never finds himself smiling at the sound of a **_CLICK_** before. The sound is downright funny in his tipsy ear. _Wow, the vodka really hitting me much._ Realizing his almost inebriated state, he re-routes to the kitchen. Opening the smaller fridge to fish out the chilled water bottle. He grabs one before walking back to the direction of Jinyoung’s study. After he opens the door, Mark continues walking until he reaches his favorite place, the window sill. He sets the blind to the side, intending to people-watching the guest milling around in front yard.

While he is downing his water, Mark thought he sees a glimpse of Yugyeom sitting on the bench park near the wooden gate, but he couldn’t identify for sure since the mask and quite long space between them hinder his vision. He opens his mask, the time to party has long gone. So much for spending almost two hours preparing himself to the finest. The black matte Porsche parked just outside the main gate also much similar to Jackson’s. _Is all his friend invited too_? Mark isn’t surprised if his friends are actually invited. They are all sort of famous on their own way, much different from himself. If he is not meeting Jinyoung by a chance, he probably wouldn’t be here. Having a privilege and confident enough to use Jinyoung’s private study as his hiding place for the main time.

Too engrossed with observing variety of people down below, he doesn’t realize someone has joined him in the room until another resounding **_CLICK~_** reached his ear. He turns around, thinking Jinyoung is there. A half forming smile is died down when he saw that his new companion is _not_ Jinyoung. "How do you know this place?"

Jaebum is standing there, in front of door. Looking like on its own home, with how his coffee brown attire blending in perfectly to the woody finished of this room. Both of his hand is shoved inside his pants pocket, making the long suit jacket bunched up near his waist. Earrings are twinkling from the crystal chandeliers placed near the fireplace. Mark props himself against the marble window sill. Jaebum seems to hesitate answering his question if his blank face giving away anything. Mark has a feeling that tonight, he is going to need the extra stash of patient on facing this relentless man.

Jaebum moves to the fireplace, leaning against the wall beside it. He still doesn’t say anything. The longer the silence is stretching between them, the more anxious Mark becomes. He doesn’t think his simple question would be that hard to answer. Jaebum touches something behind his hair, apparently removing the golden mask he still wears. He carefully removes the hair pin attached to the side of his hair. Once it is removed, he places the golden mask on top of the fireplace.

It is too wide of space for Mark to see into Jaebum’s eyes. He desperately wants to know what kind of fire that now brewing inside the later. What kind of answer he will be giving that it takes him this long to answer. A different kind of scenario is playing in his mind. But nothing readying him enough for the real answer. "I picked it for Jinyoung as our engagement gift. I let him keep it when the engagement was broken eventually. Back then, it was obvious to me that he was already taken a liking on this villa." Jaebum is answering with a steady voice. No hesitation, as if he is already constructed this speech to the perfection before throwing it at Mark. _No wonder it took him that long._

Mark’s heart is skipping a beat. He turns his body, back looking at the window in hope that it would diffused his reaction. _Engaged! Engaged!_ Once upon a time, Jaebum and Jinyoung agreed to make a promise spending the rest of their life with each other. Their relationship were probably deep enough for them to reach the forever kind of commitment. Whatever the reason they broken it off, it was clearly done on some mutual agreement seeing that both of them still on a good term now. _Too good even._

His mind is replaying back the visual both of them created from before. The way both of them seems understand each other. Mind and body still in tune to one another. Act around each other in a familiar way. Even still looking at each other with a sparkly eyes that made his green monster of jealousy rearing its head. _Do they still want each other? Oh, scratch that, do they still fucking each other?_ He just can see the scenario, needy Jinyoung moaning to his ex-fiancé about his regular fuck stop seeing him and Jaebum being the _fuck_ _-_ _boy_ with golden heart that he is, simply invited himself to graze Jinyoung’s bed again, _like the old time._

Mustering his best sarcastic voice, he throws a question that has been bugging his mind since he sat in the bar earlier. "Just how many people you fuck on the side? Jackson, the scratch, now Jinyoung too?"

Mark can’t wrap his head around the game that Jaebum and Jinyoung seems to play. Whether Jaebum really honest that all this time he didn’t know about Mark from Jinyoung, _or_ whether Jinyoung told him about Mark and Jaebum purposely seeking Mark himself out of curiosity, Mark will never know for sure. _Or_ if all of this only a product of his bad assumption, his overly cautious mind playing trick on him, making an actual simple and innocent scene into some part of a grand scheme. He doesn’t know. All that he knows is, everything comes to attack him. And his anger is starting to shimmer for all the ambiguity and bad feeling he obtained from all this.

He waits for Jaebum’s answer. He doesn’t care even a slightest bit if his question might change the fire in Jaebum’s eyes into something that could burned down a whole town. For once, he is thankful with the distance between them. _Standing to close to the fire could be dangerous, you don’t realize that you standing close enough until you feel the burnt on your dried up skin._

"If this makes you calm the _fuck_ down, I am not fucking anyone right now. I am quite busy with the handful of you.” There is a footsteps behind him. “I don’t even know why I need to explain all this to you, but it is bugging me to see you upset like this." More footsteps closer. And a sound of rolling chair against the hardwood floor.

_Jaebum is probably sitting on Jinyoung’s chair._

“Why do you care so much about me? What do you want? What you get out of all this games?”

_Another silence is stretching between them._

“If you think by repeating that question to me you’ll be getting a different answer each time, an answer that satisfied your already formed assumption about me, you’re sorely mistaken Mark. I already made myself clear enough. Now it is the time for you to choose what to believe.”

 _To choose what to believe._ _What myself belief?_

_I belief that you only do this to get me into your bed. Let’s just get over it, and see whether you still like me enough to stay around after getting the thing you want most._

“You want to fuck me so much?” Mark leaves his position in front of window sill. Spotting Jaebum indeed sitting in Jinyoung’s chair, Jaebum is looking at him quietly. Mark walks toward him slowly. Playing with the button hidden behind his rumple cravat. He touches a warm metal of Jaebum’s pendant, griping it slightly. _One button, a step forward._ Starting from the top button near the collar. He caresses the skin revealed beneath the material. _Two buttons, two steps forward._ He bits his lips, getting aroused with the remnant heat from the alcohol still on his blood flow and the heat from the man sitting in front of him. _Three buttons, three steps forward._ He shrugs out the side where his rumple cravat seamed in. The silky material falls softly against his skin, revealing his collar bone, a part of his left shoulder, and Jaebum’s pendant against his chest. He trails his fingertips where the chain meeting his skin. From the side of his neck, along his chest, to the pendant on the center of it. Jaebum is looking at his hand movement, eyes getting darker the closer Mark’s fingertip tracing to the pendant. _Four buttons, four steps forward._ Mark’s legs is touching Jaebum’s knees. He is standing right in front of Jaebum. Jaebum’s eyes is moving from the pendant into his lips. Mark is slowly letting go the bite that’s going on. Letting his canine bites deeper into the last remnant of his lips before completely letting it go. Jaebum unconsciously licks his own lips, mouth agape with a slight tongue grazing his bottom lip. Eyes impossibly darker. _Five buttons, five steps forward._ There is no space for Mark to step forward anymore. He sets his right leg on top of Jaebum’s left thigh and does the same for his left one. He climbs Jaebum and sits on his lap. After securing his position, he opens the last button on his shirt.

Jaebum eyes him carefully. Both hands is resting on each one of Mark’s thigh. No wonder in purpose of keeping Mark balanced. There should be a hesitation in his eyes, but Mark is not seeing it at all. “Come on, Jaebummie. This is what you want right?” Liquid courage and a lot doze of old Mark Tuan is speaking through his mouth. Mark smiles at Jaebum sultrily. Jaebum might show a blank expression, but the growing hardness which is pressed against his butt saying quite the opposite.

“Ah! I know!” Mark suddenly exclaims. He moves his leg and situates his knees on either side of Jaebum thigh. Doing his best to do a kneeling position in such a tight fit of Jinyoung’s chair. The position is making him face to face with Jaebum. Then, he proceeds to throw both of his hand behind his back and lowers his sight. _A submissive pose._ He senses Jaebum’s body tightening below him. From his limited line of sight, he watches as Jaebum opening and closing his knuckles repeatedly. He risks to see Jaebum’s facial expression by peering from under his lashes.

 _There, the fire is back._ Jaw tensed, teeth gritted loudly, Jaebum is looking at him. Jaw jutting from side to side upon realizing that Mark is looking at him. “I’ve wear your name as my collar. Now, do I need to call you, Master?” Mark asks softly, never breaking the eye contact.

Jaebum snaps. He grips the back of Mark’s head, grabbing a bit of his hair and jerking it backward. Mark smirks. _Finally. Unleashed your fire Jaebum, burn me in._ "Don’t outsmart me Mark. Don’t pretend you know what you are doing." Jaebum is hissing closer to his face. Eyes lit dangerously. Mark jerks his head from Jaebum’s grip which earning another grab from Jaebum this time on his nape. “Why are you making this much more difficult than it supposed to be?”

Nails digging deep into his backbone, but he never feels so much alive before. Jaebum’s whole body is literally thrumming below him. Breathing haggard, even his grip is shaking. _Just a little more kick, Mark. A little more._ "If you want someone who you could throw around without protest, you could have go wooing Jackson instead of me."

The mention of his friend is proven to be the last straw for Jaebum. He grits his teeth some more and whispers harshly, "Shut up!". Jaebum looks at the smirk that still adorning Mark’s lips. Something changing in his facial expression. Probably finally realizing what the end games Mark is thriving for. He gives one last look into Mark’s eyes, “Just shut up.” But his words already void of warning it was laced earlier. Mark wets his lips, a movement that gone not unnoticed by Jaebum.

"Make me.", his word is lost somewhere in between the next breath. Where Jaebum doves straight in to his lips. The kiss is ravenous. Tongue lapping everywhere, teeth clanking with the force. He kissed Jaebum with all of him. All his insecurities, all his jealousy, all his passion towards this man. Jaebum’s hand that is still on his nape moves lower to the direction of Mark’s hand that still held themselves behind his back. A small but strong finger is breaching the interlaced, bringing one of Mark’s hand to interlace with Jaebum’s instead. Mark kisses Jaebum harder, appreciating a form of companionship that Jaebum always never forget to assert in their every kisses. _The interlacing of their hand._ A symbol that Jaebum and Mark is together standing in a similar place on this relationship. Both trust each other to guide and to be guided into the direction that both of them still do not dare to choose as the end point.

Jaebum other hand is resting on Mark’s collar bone, blindly touch around the side of his neck, only to settle on the chain of his necklace. Three finger is gripping lightly at the chain, tracing it slowly downward where it ends on the pendant. A shiver is blooming on Mark’s skin, he bites hard on Jaebum’s lower lips. Earning an involuntary grunts and a buck of the later hips upward, right into his ass. Mark is responding to it with a grinding motion into the hardness, practically climbing into Jaebum’s upper body.

Jaebum moves his hand to the back of Mark’s thigh, briefly broke up their interlacing hand to stand up and bring Mark up with him. His lips is trailing a wet kisses into Mark’s cheek to alongside Mark’s jaw while moving both of them forward. Nipping at the shell of Mark’s ear, a whisper into it makes him shiver. “Is this what you want? Making me angry so I’m going crazy on you?” Jaebum bites lightly, earning a moan from him, “Is it Mark?”

He doesn’t say anything to it. He squirming in Jaebum’s arm is already an answer enough. His ass is hitting something cold. Jaebum’s grips are loosening around his thigh, making his ass colliding with the marble window sill. Mark turns his head to confirm his position, Jaebum lips catching on the side of his lips. He could see people on the front yard, still laughing and chat around. Unknowing of the filthy scene above them. He is shivering from the possibility of getting caught. Jaebum smirks against his skin, noticing Mark’s train of thought. "Wouldn’t you like it? Being fucked to oblivion in front of this window? So everyone on the garden below could see how wild you actually are behind your good boy facade?"

Mark claws at Jaebum’s long necklace, using it as a leverage to bring him closer. Eye to eye, nose to nose. He could see the fire brewing inside Jaebum’s eyes. _But it is still not big enough. Little more, little more._ He narrows his eyes, grips the necklace tighter and jerks Jaebum closer. “You are all barks but no bites, Jaebummie~”

 _Burn. The fire ignites bigger._ In a blur movement, Mark finds himself being turned around with Jaebum pressing close from behind. He could see the front yard from the window in front of him now. Both of his hand is clasped with Jaebum’s one. Somehow, a smaller hand could trapped him into this position. His back is pressing into Jaebum’s hard chest. Jaebum who currently nosing at the side of his face, breathing him in. One of his hand is roaming around the opening of Mark’s unbuttoned shirt. Teasing a bare skin there with a calloused hand of hardworking man. The hand is reaching the base of his neck, squeezing a little. _Testing the air._ When Mark doesn’t give any rejection, Jaebum continues to squeeze it slowly. Cutting out his wind pipe. He could feel Jaebum sucking on his neck hard. He could feel the outline of Jaebum’s hard-on against his ass cheek. He is moaning loud from all the sensation. It sounds like a choking sound because he couldn’t breathe properly. Jaebum is letting Mark’s hand go. Mark is moving his left hand to grip at Jaebum’s wrist near his neck. His other hand is planted on the window as a leverage so he could pressed back into Jaebum’s hips. Wanting to feel more of the hardness. _The desire._

It feels so good. A panicky feeling out of breath is making his other sensor working its sensitivity tenfold the usual. He could feel every breath of Jaebum on his neck, every nip and lick Jaebum did, and also every burning touch left by Jaebum’s hand that currently inching closer to the front of his jeans. When the fingertips starting to press into his hard-on, Mark gasps loudly. Now really feels the urgent need to breathe, he slaps the window three times and tugs at Jaebum’s wrist, before Jaebum finally letting his neck go.

He could feel a smirk against his neck while he is trying to regain his breathing. An insistence fingertips is still playing on the side of his hard-on purposely avoiding the place where it wants the most. A hand on his neck is caressing the place where it was before, messaging it slowly to return the blood circulation. A contradictory that is Im Jaebum. He takes care without any single sound.

A playful hand is getting closer and closer to his zipper. A warm breath on his neck is getting shorter and shorter. Mark is purposely moving his hip slightly to side, _ah there it is,_ he is sighing. Finally the hand is situated right on his length. He hears a chuckle from around his neck. Jaebum starts to give his jaw a kitten lick. On the other hand, Jaebum’s nails are grazing the teeth of his zipper, creating a harsh friction right on to Mark length. He is fully hard now. His breath is coming up short and harsh. He sounds weird to his own ears. “I thought you don’t do a sloppy second.” He whispers slowly.

Jaebum grips his length at this comment. Kissing the corner of his mouth, prompting Mark to turn his head to the side and reciprocating the kiss. The hand on his length gives an enough pressure, messaging him slowly, building up his climax, but not enough at the same times. Mark needs more. His hips unconsciously circling to gain more friction, which Jaebum opposed with pinning his hips more into Mark’s ass, stilling his movement. But it is only making Jaebum’s own hard-on pressing more insistently in between Mark’s cheek. Jaebum stops their kiss. “So tell me Mark, has anyone ever fucked you before?”

At the apparent hesitant shake of Mark’s head, Jaebum turns him around. Kiss him with a new fervor and lead both of them to Jinyoung’s desk. After getting rid of the chair off to the side, Jaebum bends Mark on top of the big mahogany desk. Mark’s chin meets the coldness of the glass finished. A slight condensation is forming on where his breath meet the surface. Jaebum is pinning him from behind. Hand bracing his body so he could kiss Mark without crushing him much. A hand is sneaking around to the front of his pants. This time not hesitating to unbuckle his belt and turn his zip down. Jaebum is fumbling with just one of his free hand to lower Mark’s jeans alongside his boxer brief. Mark is gasping at the feeling of cold air hitting his swollen dick. A slight friction from his jeans making him panting for more. He could feel a wetness from his pre-come smeared along the side of mahogany table.

He hears another clink of belt and sound of zipper being lowered from behind him. The urgency on Jaebum’s movement completely throws him out of the loop. He almost could guess how impatient Jaebum is from the sound of his harsh breathing. _Is me being virgin affecting him this much?_

A very _hard_ and very _hot_ length hitting the back of his thigh. _Holy shit._ His theory of Jaebum being a _grower_ instead of a _shower_ is proven to be right. The confidence is a product of something, _this particular something._ No wonder the man is _cocky as hell._ He has a hidden ammunition to back it off. _I want to see it. I want to touch it._ He force one of his hand to reach behind, to grasp the manliness that is Im Jaebum into his own hand. Before he is even reaching it, a hand grips his and interlaces their finger together. Jaebum lets his lips go, and whispers _“Let me take care of you”_ against his mouth. Defeated, he lets the reigned fall on Jaebum’s hand. _For this time._

He is about to tell Jaebum that there is a stock of lube and condom inside Jinyoung’s drawer, when he hears a rummaging sound from behind. He opens his eyes a bit to see Jaebum’s right hand already blindly grasping inside the said drawer. An ugly feeling starts coming back at him. _How could Jaebum know Jinyoung always saving some there just in case?_ A jealousy starts brewing on his gut. His mind is distracted by all possible scenario to why Jinyoung needed to store some in the first place. _Did they fuck here too? When all room still bared and only this desk was here?_

"I’ve fucked Jinyoung on this desk." A wet finger is prodding at his entrance. A strange feeling is washed over him at the sudden intrusion. He never fingered himself. His experiences with boys only involving two different partner, and he was topping for both of them.

"So do I. Though I remember I got more leverage to hold on to with him.” Two wet fingers are scissoring his inside. An attempt to make him relax, but failed nonetheless because of the further comment from the fingers’ owner. Mark moves to stand, but a hand on his waist hold him down. Making him laying flat against the desk.

"Don’t compare me to him, you bastard." Three fingers, he feels full. Jaebum just chuckle at his fruitless struggling. He peppers some kisses into Mark’s neck. Willing him to be more relaxed. Mark throws a glare into his direction. Which prompts Jaebum to laugh even harder.

He kisses Mark eyes, Mark melts into it. "You ask for it, you bring him up first." Jaebum looks at him fondly, his fingers are long gone. He pecks Mark lips once, twice, and starts pressing the blunt head into Mark. Eyelids fluttering the more inches he goes, "but don’t worry babe, he is not as tight as you." Mark is laughing at his crudeness. At the same time, Jaebum is pressing all of him to the hilt. Mark is gasping, choking a bit at the sudden fullness. He feels his body just split into two. A cold sweat is starting to form on his forehead. His breath is coming out on a short pants. He doesn’t realize he is crying until Jaebum’s hand wipe the wetness on his eyes. Jaebum is not moving. Hipbone is pressing against Mark’s ass cheek. He lets out a shushing sound. Mumbling the praise and assurance softly and repeatedly against Mark’s cheek. “Shh... Shhh... S’okay. S’okay. You’re doing great babe. Take a deep breath, yes like that. S’okay, let me in. Yes, let me take care of you.”

At this point, Mark is not sure, does he is crying because of the pain _or_ because of the request Jaebum whispered to him. _Let me in. Let me in._ Yes, he only needs to let Jaebum in. It is a double entendre at its best. The current situation is somehow reflecting how their actual relationship. Where Mark constantly running around in circle, battling with his own mind for a treat that is not real. Hesitating, going back and forth of letting his door open for Jaebum. Creating a new problem that comes from his own assumption. When all along, all he needs to do is _simply letting Jaebum in._ So, Jaebum could share his own fire to Mark before Mark is ready to re-ignite his own. Nurture their fire together so they will burn together instead of burning each other with it.

Mark looks at the man that now a part of himself. A worried look is all he could find in the dark orbs. Eyebrow pinching together in attempt to hold himself still. A redness on the tip of his ears however is betraying the apparent calmness. Iris fully dilated. Jaebum looks like a bull on cage, ready to strike ahead at the slightest hint of red flag in front of him.

 _He is Jaebum, Mark. You know him. You thrust him. Just let him in._ A voice inside his head is encouraging him to exhale slowly. Willing the pressure on his lower back go. After the pain starting to subside, he is nodding at Jaebum, giving him the red flag he desperately needs.

Jaebum fucks reflecting who he is in the real life. He is commanding, a very determining pleaser, and doesn’t like to be ignored. He demands Mark’s eyes to open and on him all the time no matter how hard it is to keep himself coherent with how deep Jaebum fucks into him. Giving it to him straight without a pretense, bluntly to the point. Jaebum reaches so deep inside him, he hits on the spot that making Mark seeing stars with just simply bottoming up. He could make Mark comes untouched with a slight circling motion he does with his hip when he is inside Mark to the hilt. _Now I know what Jackson moaning about in his text._ He could read what you need just from your facial expression, has a very _very_ strong stamina, and owns such a _healthy_ appetite. He cannot blame Jinyoung for still staring at Jaebum like he is a walking dream. _Me understand, I forgive you Jinyoung._ He is the best Mark ever had. Although he doesn’t have anyone to compare Jaebum with, but he is almost sure Jaebum ruined him for anyone else.

The strong memory that etched into his mind so much is the Jaebum’s need to possess. He is still shivering at the almost magical moment, where Jaebum pushing in the leaking mixture of his own comes and excess lube back into Mark’s hole. Murmuring something about _marking him_ , _let a part of him stay inside_ , and _what a waste to let it just drip down_. Despites of the crudeness, _which he always insult Jaebum with,_ the words is making him feel owned, and he loves every dirty words.

Hours later, when their fire died down a bit, Mark is looking to the man currently sleeping in his laps. On the dimly light of Jinyoung’s study, he feels he finally found a home in this foreign country he’s been living for the last eight years. A home where he could thrust himself to be protected under its roof, a home where he could be himself but not stood out like a sore thumb, a home where he could ignites his own fire and letting it as big as he wants without fearing the other being burnt in it. Because the home itself owning a much bigger fire that capable to re-ignite anything on its wake, a home with an eternal fire. A home with the name of Im Jaebum.

With a happy thought playing on his mind, he feels his world getting more blurry. _Black._

 

 

_###_


	9. Chapter 9

Saturday evening, Mark wakes up in Jaebum’s penthouse, _or so he assumes,_ because it is not his own room and he no longer in Jinyoung’s study. A beautiful golden ray of sunset somehow making its way behind his eyelid. He wants to be annoyed for waking up, because there is a rock still lodging inside his throat, a pounding on his head, and his whole body feels like submerged underwater for a day. He is having a hard time to move it. But upon seeing such a beautiful view that indeed waking him up, he couldn’t help but smile at the blessing. _Thank you_ _G_ _od for giving me a chance to see a beautiful side of life._

A sound of water running distracts him from the beautiful view showcased in floor-to-ceiling window in front of the bed. Come to think of it, he _is_ alone in this room. He _is_ alone in this big rounded bed with a black sheet and red velvety blanket, _also stack and stack of pillow_ behind him. He _is_ alone in a strange room, wearing an overly large white shirt he never seen before, _with a black boxer brief that for sure not his._ On the far wall, there is a door from which the water running sound emerging. A soft song is playing, much like the one which was played last night in Jinyoung’s ball.

When he is about to drift back into a dreamland, a sound of door opening startles him. Following by a familiar voice humming to the song played in the air. Mark tries to pry open his tired eyes. Noticing a man standing in front of the bed. With the backlight, Mark couldn’t recognize him at first, but from the sound of him, _of course_ it is Jaebum.

“You’re awake babe?” _Babe._ His mind instantly playing a distant clip from his memory where the similar voice calling him _Babe_ but with a lot breathy voice. _Nope, don’t go there Mark._ His eyes is adjusting to the lighting. He could see clearly now. There is Jaebum, wearing a white tanks and a grey sweatpants, looking like an angel with a sunset as his background.

“I hate you.” Mark grabs a closest item on his reach and throws it to Jaebum. The later just simply catches the pillow and lets it fall to the ground.

Jaebum smiles. He sits near where Mark is slumped on the bed. “What did I do this time, hmm?” Clearly feeling amused at Mark throwing a hate tantrum at him first thing when he wakes up.

“For looking so perfect, while I am feeling like a big truck hit me last night.” Jaebum laughs. Showcasing the pearly white teeth that leaving a ton of bites mark on it wakes. His hand is creeping under the blanket, caressing Mark’s right calf lightly.

“I didn’t know you had a tattoo. Never peg you to have one.” Jaebum is referring to a cross tattoo he has on the back of his right calf. A memento from his college day.

“There is a lot of thing you don’t know about me, Mister. And, there is a lot of thing I don’t know about you too.”

They are looking at each other, much like many times before. But there is a difference now, _a much bigger difference._ They don’t feel the need to one up each other much, they don’t see each other as someone they should be superior at. There is understanding that was not there before. When Jaebum already stooped himself low to level in Mark’s feeling, Mark brings both of them back into where they should be, by letting Jaebum in. Arising Jaebum back to his own level and at the same time, making himself feels better by arising himself to a place where he was before. Before he moved to Seoul.

“Alright.” Jaebum crawls over to the other side of bed, _his side._ He lays sideway with his head supported by his hand, looking at Mark’s direction. Mark struggles to move his body bit by bit into the same position. So they could look at each other. He notices Jaebum’s hand stopping short almost touching him before retracting it back into his side. Mark appreciates the gesture. Jaebum understands the need of him to feel strong as independent being. _To be Mark._ There is a time where he is Jaebum’s Mark, at that span of time Jaebum free to do thing as he please, as long as Mark is not opposed to it. But, there is a time where he is Mark’s Mark. A person that has boundary and personal space which needed to be respected. And Jaebum took this boundary to his heart apparently. Mark is grateful.

After a lot of hissing and several grunts later, he is finally in comfortable position. But instead of propping his head on his hand, Mark stacks several pillow and lays his head there. Finally, smiling at Jaebum’s apparent distressed on Mark concerning condition. Jaebum raises a questioning glance at him which Mark translates into an ‘ _are you okay?’._

_See Jinyoung? I could communicate with Jaebum too without talking._

Mark shakes his head, on which Jaebum frowned into. Another shakes of his head, and finally Jaebum understand his, _‘Don’t worry about me’._

“What do you want to know about me?”

“How about you introduce yourself first?”

Jaebum chuckles. It is fascinating how a simple gesture capable of making his heart pit a pat. It is almost disgusting how with a simple smile, he feels his inside already melting like a warm gooey.

“Hello, Mark! I am Im Jaebum, a lot of my model friend still call me JB because it is the alias I’ve been using. I was born in Ilsan, Goyang City. My birthday is on January 6th and that’s making me a year older than supposed to be. I am the only child of my parents. I am a composer under the name of DefSoul, what you are hearing now is one of my composed songs. I have a cat named Nora. I have twelve piercing on my body and a tattoo inside my mouth. I live alone in this penthouse and very hopeful that you would move in with me as I often feel too lonely.”

Mark laughs. _This smooth talking man._ How could he throws in the moving in proposal amidst looking goofy and so soft like that? _Just where the commanding man with harsh glare and crude mouth go._ Mark couldn’t wait to unveil the many facet of this man.

“Hello, Jaebum! My full name is Mark Yi En Tuan. I am a Taiwanese born, raised, and lived in LA. My birthday is on September 4th and that’s making me still older than you per international rules. I have three siblings back home. Also I own a Harley just like you, which I always rode back then to woo a girl in high school and college. I have one big-ass tattoo on my right calf tributes to the wild college life, but I never regret it for a second. I have a Maltese named Coco, Youngjae from the receptionist is his adopted mother. I love skydiving and would like to bring you to try it soon. I am your usual boring and stuffy accountant until somebody reignites my fire back. Oh, and you know. I don’t kiss before the third date and let alone moving in before a proposal. My papa said having sex outside marriage is a no-no.”

Both of them are laughing at the last sentence. Noting that they breached each of the rules already. They spend the night chatting away about themselves and asking question to each other. When they run out of thing to talk about, they just simply looking at each other. Sometimes with a small smile adorning each other lips. Sometimes with a heady eyes and a bitten lips trying to press down the desire that starting to resurface. Sometimes just simply looking at each other like that. Creating their own bubble, building a comfortable silence.

As the moon starting to take over the world, they inch closer and closer. Mark is still laying on his side but with Jaebum’s arm as his pillow. The later hand is massaging his scalp. Willing Mark to take more nap to regain his strength.

Jaebum told him how he met Jinyoung and how he ended up engaging to him but breaking it up two years ago. Jaebum told him how he became a model and what drove him to sow a new path in becoming a composer. Jaebum also told him about the nature of his relationship with Jackson, why he was comfortable and secure enough to share about Mark to him. At some point he even confessed that he used to have a slight crush on Youngjae, which is Mark could totally related into, because he did too long time ago before deciding sunshine is just too good for everyone.

Jaebum told him everything but one. The one that left him his scratch. Mark starts to feel anxious to why Jaebum hiding this thing from him, so early. He decides to ask about this straight on.

“How about the person who left you a scratch? Do I know him?” Mark places his hand on Jaebum’s left chest. Sensing the heartbeat muted by the skin. He wants to make sure Jaebum is not going to lie to him. _Yes, he trust him, but the trust is still so young._

"The scratch? What scratch? Why you keep talking about ‘the scratch’?" Jaebum seems genuinely confused. Probably it is not significant enough for him to remember about. Mark peers at his _what? Lover?_ eyes. Jaebum is looking at him intently.

"Don’t pretend you don’t know what I am talking about. The one on your upper hand and wrist!" He points at the fading scars.

A realization of what Mark referring to hits on Jaebum. His gaze that previously looks anxious is softening a bit. "It’s from Nora. My cat, she got a bit of temper on her."

"Do you think I would belief your lame ass excuse?" He jabs into Jaebum’s chest. Much like he did on the emergency stairs. _Old habits die hard._

Jaebum palm is engulfing his arm, stopping the jabbing movement. He interlaces their finger together and places it in between their chest. "Mark. I don’t go around fooling people to fall into my web. Especially not you. You don’t believe me? Go ask Jackson, he met Nora before. Even, ask Jinyoung, he is the one that give me Nora after all. I’m not that kind of person."

"Then, why you are angry and going on defensive mode when I mentioned about your scratch at our second meeting?"

"You seem to always assuming me in a worst way, Mark. Fit me in within a stereotype, box me in based on something you saw from outside. From the _‘me’_ that I choose to show to you. So I just play the part, being a seasonal bad boy that you seem to categorize me into.”

“You could have just denied it, why play a mind games?”

“I guess I just disappointed. You out of all people should know that it hurts to be judged based on your look from a people that don’t know about you. So after that point, I always try to show you my true self. Make you questioning your assumption yourself.” Jaebum moves on top of him. One of his hand is bracing his weight on elbow so they still have a certain distance to look at each other. Legs entwined together, Jaebum looks at him for a moment.  “You asked me, I have so many face that you don’t know which one is real? All of them is real, Mark. I am me. I am Im Jaebum. And this is me, as it is. I am baring myself for you. Now you know what to expect and what not, will you accept the _‘me’_ , the many facet of me, all of me?"

The man above him was going to the hell and back, stooping so low from his mighty height just to prove him that he is wrong. But he did it such in a humble way, willing to step down and shredding all dignity he has in order for Mark to change the assumption he made for the man himself. Had been shoved, had been ignored, had been standing cold, even experienced a sting of rejection on his cheek, but his determination and faith making him pave his way forward. Regardless how many steeping back and walk in a circle Mark is responding his every ministration with. Jaebum had nothing as a guarantee. He only had his own gut telling him, and a belief, that together they will make something bigger. The man above him has enough faith for both of them to be hopeful that something good would probably waiting for them alongside their journey.

“Wouldn’t you think I will not be here with you if I’m not already accepting the fact that you have too many face I can’t keep track? Should I start writing a book like Jinyoung?”

He keeps it light. The sarcasm probably many other people would interpret as a dodge in answering a serious question like that, but not to Jaebum. _Jaebum knows. Jaebum understands._ Because it is his language too. _I see myself in you Mark._ It is the very first phrase that starting to break down the box he caged himself in. _I see myself in you too Jaebum._ In the fire he witnesses every time he looks into Jaebum’s eyes.  That is the last straw that ignites the fire back into his own eyes.

The man above him smiles. Big and beautiful. Making his eyes shaped into a crescent moon. The twin moles above his eyelid as frustrating as ever. He looks so happy and soft, like a kid being given a candy after sulking to his mother for quite a while. The man above him is so different from the man he shared his elevator with. He is not wearing a leather jacket or carrying a helmet, looking so manly and smelling like a seasonal bad boy. His hair is not styled up and his handsome forehead is not showing. He is not looking at Mark like he counted inside his head _, how many floors I need to get this pretty boy willing to go back to my room with me._ His word is not crude and patronizing, always needing to get the upper hand and the last word. _No. Not at all._ The man above him is quite the opposite. He is wearing a very normal looking clothes, making him look younger than Mark himself for the first time. His hair is down, bangs covering part of his eyes, looking messy and fluffy like a little boy. He is looking at Mark with a gentleness that send a thousand butterfly to his stomach. His word is beautiful and hopeful that what he offering is interesting enough for Mark, if it is not making himself runaway already.

He never knows he loves mystery until he met one. It is an exciting experiment to not knowing which Jaebum he gets for every aspect in his life. Mark can’t wait to explore him until the point he could predict which Jaebum he would get for every scenario ahead of them. To know him better than any other person can. To be closer to him. To conquer the fire and make it his own.

The fire ignites bigger. His fire and Jaebum’s fire entwining with each other. Cocooning both of them inside their happy place. They don’t know if the fire is from a similar source, or does it strengthen each other or a kryptonite for one another. Too many unknown entities to predict right now of what could be their end point. They will just enjoy the heat for now, burning together inside it. They will just be a Jaebum to Mark’s Jaebum and a Mark to Jaebum’s Mark. For now. _For now._

**_Fin._ **

_For now. ;)_


End file.
